Funny

25 Clever Comebacks to Humble A Toxic Man You’re Dating

By

Malcoln Oliveira

One of my favorite TikTok trends is known as the “I am no man’s peace” trend. In this trend, women share screenshots of their most cutthroat and ruthless text responses to men’s aggressive or insulting behavior in the dating world. If you’re not feeling up to creating your own unique comeback, however, have no fear. Here are some I’ve created. You can simply enjoy these for laughs without sending them to anyone or, on a rare occasion, utilize them to humble a toxic man who’s either done you dirty or tried to neg you or emotionally harm you in some way. They are grouped into four categories for different situations. Remember: only use these in rare occasions with people who actually deserve it and who have gone out of their way to disturb your peace by trying to deliberately provoke or manipulate you. Don’t use these in unsafe situations where a man has your personal information or with potentially dangerous men and certainly don’t use it on men who don’t deserve it. Hit the block button whenever possible after sending. The point of these comebacks is not to keep engaging with toxic people but to leave them in the dust and humble them while doing so, hopefully to discourage them from behaving in such an abhorrent and audacious way toward women in the future. 

When It’s Time to Ghost Him (Because He’s Low Effort or Negging You)

Women have noted that men try to “neg” them to try to get their attention, attempting to persuade them through backhanded comments to stand out from the crowd.  Here are some responses you can use to deal with that, before blocking them completely. 

  1. I lowered my standards and the bar just to interact with you and you still managed to disappoint. Congratulations, that’s quite the impressive feat. 
  2. If only other parts of you were as big as your ego — at least then I’d actually be having some fun. 
  3. I am sorry, you must have me confused for a woman who will take your shit. I hope you find the person you’re looking for. 
  4. The truth is, I usually go for looks and money, but I was trying something different with you and not be so shallow this time around. 
  5. This is not the kind of dating experience I am accustomed to, but I am sure you’ll find a woman who loves to settle for less! 
  6. I think it’s time for us to see other people and for you to go back to pursuing women in your own league. I am really glad you got ambitious when pursuing me though, it’s great that you’re so confident and brave and put yourself out there. Keep shooting for the stars, champ! 

When A Man Is Being Rude or Entitled 

Women report that men sometimes hassle them further if they refuse to have sex with them after a first date, or verbally retaliate when the woman is not interested in going on a second date. Here are some comebacks to have on hand if you’re experiencing this, before you block all contact and access to you. 

  1. Wow! Those are some really big emotions you’re expressing here, little guy. I hope you can get some help with that. Everyone deserves some support.
  2. Are you normally always this hostile, or is your terrible personality au naturel? 
  3. Have you spoken to your therapist about this? I am sure they’d love to hear all about your insecurities and projections. You would make a good case study… 
  4. Are you always this emotional or is it just your Napoleon complex? 
  5. I think I read a book about men like you. I forget the name…oh right, it’s called the DSM-5. 

When A Man Tries to Act Hot and Cold (And Comes Back to Gauge Your Interest)

When a man overwhelms you with attention one day, only to suddenly disappear into thin air and then come back like a ghost as if nothing ever happened, it’s time to ensure they never haunt you again with these comebacks. 

  1. I believe our lines may have gotten crossed here and you’ve mistaken my mere politeness for interest. You’re not my type, but I am sure there’s someone who’s willing to downgrade for you. It’s just not going to be me. 
  2. Is it okay if we pretend this never happened? I’d rather not have my friends know I dated you. They’re always telling me I need to stop lowering my standards. 
  3. I think you may have severely overestimated my interest in you. It’s okay, we’ve all been there. 
  4. This is so embarrassing! I must have given you the impression I was romantically interested. Sorry I led you on. 
  5. Who is this? 

When A Man Tries To Make You Jealous by Mentioning Other Women (Or His “Girl Best Friend”)

Insecure toxic men try to make you jealous by mentioning other love prospects or showing off their shady friendships with their “girl best friend” or exes. Here are some quick ways to shut that down before you hit the block button. 

  1. Wow, she sounds amazing! Can I get her number? Maybe she’ll be better in bed than you.
  2. Sounds like you miss your ex. I feel that. Each moment I spend in your presence makes me miss my ex more and more!
  3. You should go talk to her and ask her out! She seems more like the type to settle for less. 
  4. Aww, are you trying to make me jealous? That is so cute and precious that you think you’re important enough for me to care. (Hit the block button immediately after). 

When A Man Is Trying to Shame You For Having High Standards

Sometimes toxic men in the dating world will suggest low-effort dates, dangerous dates, or Netflix and Chill and subsequently try to shame you for having standards if you are not interested in going out on these “dates” with them. If so, here are some responses to have on hand before you cut them off completely. 

  1. I didn’t realize you were so financially strained and on a budget. Probably best for us not to date, I don’t want to make you feel bad about what you can offer me right now. 
  2. I thought this was a romantic date you wanted to plan but considering the quality of the “date” you’ve suggested, I guess you just want us to be friends. Sorry, but even my friends take me out properly and show me a good time.  
  3. I am not a dog, I don’t need to be walked. I have coffee at home, and it’s delicious. Hiking is how many true crime documentaries start, no thank you. 
  4. You’re so talented at offering so many options that are below the bare minimum! That takes skill, truly. 
  5. I am not sure why you’d call me a “tease.” That implies you ever had a chance of sleeping with me in the first place. 
  6. Bonus Option: Silence. Sometimes the best response to these “offers” is no response at all, and moving on to better, high-quality partners.