How To Be A Rom Com Leading Lady (And Get The Love You Deserve)

Even if you tend to watch romantic comedies with a skeptical heart, munching popcorn while you roll your eyes at the cheesy meet-cutes and groan-worthy declarations of love, there’s still a good chance you’ve hoped that you could experience that kind of fairy tale magic. At least a little. And why not? Being the main character of a rom com means all your problems get buttoned up in the span of 90 minutes. Best of all, you’ll wind up with the love of your life–someone who so perfectly matches your freak that you can’t imagine a future without them. Sounds nice, right? Rather than listening to all the naysayers who insist this kind of life is strictly a work of fiction, why not believe you can be a leading lady? Here’s how:

1. Talk to everyone.

You never know who you might meet. And I’m not saying you should only talk to the movie-star-hot people you see on the subway. I mean everyone. You never know who might want to set you up with their roommate or grandson or guy who drops off his cute-but-unruly golden retriever at the puppy day spa every Wednesday at 3:30 PM exactly.

2. Allow yourself to be a little silly.

Most rom com leading ladies have one big thing in common: They show off their often quirky personalities whether they want to or not. If they’re clutzy, they’ll trip over the biggest piece of furniture right in front of their love interest. If they get the urge to chop off all their hair or dye it pink, they’ll be strutting through their 9-5 the next day with the wildest locks. This kind of energy–living your truth with abandon–is a surefire way to attract everyone.

3. Ask for help from your friends…and ignore their advice.

Leading ladies don’t keep their problems under lock and key. They don’t sequester the mushier sides of themselves where no one can see them. Tell your best friends what’s bothering you, whether it’s about love or not. And if they give you advice you don’t want to follow, by all means ignore it. That’s what a leading lady does! (Unless it means getting you WAY out of your comfort zone. Then following the weird advice is a must.)

4. Give yourself a cute little makeover.

I’m not saying you need to have a huge transformation or anything. If Laney in She’s All That or Biana in The DUFF are any indication, you barely have to change at all. Just some cute bangs and a few flattering dresses added to your wardrobe and BAM! You’re now the hottest thing around. (And put on a great song, like Chappell Roan’s “HOT TO GO!,” so you can have your own little makeover montage.)

5. Do it for the plot.

Think about the plots of these rom coms. They’re never “they met on Tinder and went on a few dates and now they’re in a relationship.” The movie would be over in five minutes. Instead, try to have your own little character arc. How are you going to grow and change in the next weeks or months? And how can that translate into movie-worthy romance? That’s up to you. Speaking of which…

6. Don’t be afraid to flirt in your own way.

There’s no one perfect way to attract a partner, even in the movies. There’s a reason why there are so many different tropes. Are you more of a friends-to-lovers girlie where you pine for your best friend? Or an enemies-to-lovers babe who prefers to taunt the object of your affection before you pounce? Figure out what makes you happy and comfortable and do that–but bigger and better.

7. Let yourself be the main character.

Remember that scene in The Holiday when Arthur tells Iris to stop being the “best friend” and start acting like the “leading lady?” This should be advice for everyone. Don’t hold yourself back because you don’t see yourself as deserving. You deserve a grand love just as much as anyone else. You aren’t on this earth to be set-dressing for someone else’s story. You are the main character. You are the leading lady. So start acting like it.

8. Never settle for “fine.”

So many rom coms start with the leading lady already in a relationship. Often her boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t some evil entity. They just aren’t right for her. This is important, so write this down: If it isn’t right, that is a perfectly acceptable reason to break up. Don’t waste time in the wrong relationship or you may miss out on finding your rom com-worthy soulmate.