We live in a world where we want nothing to fail – including our relationships. So much to the point that we can miss the red flags all for a good image or Instagram photo – seriously, what the fuck are we doing to ourselves?
Sure, his chomping of gum or her hair all over the bathroom sink might drive you crazy, but these aren’t warnings that your relationship is going to tumble. Just like there are things you shouldn’t be doing, there are things you need to do to survive together.
Stop telling yourself things will change, it’s normal or it’s going to be alright – sometimes it’s best to face the facts.
If you’re not doing these 9 things, you’re in a relationship that’s doomed to fail.
1. If you’re not talking about the future. You don’t need to set a time frame or give an ultimatum, but the future should be talked about after a certain point. Whether it has to do with you expressing a city you dream of living in, or chatting about your dream home, at some point this should become a normal conversation. If no one is talking about “we” in future terms, it’s probably because neither person is seeing one.
2. If you’re not having sex … or enjoying it. Be your own decider on how often is enough, but the bottom line is sex should still be passionate and enjoyable.
3. If you’re not complimenting their strengths. You should be proud of your partner and want them to feel good about themselves. Whether they dressed really nice or they received a promotion, you should want to let them know you noticed.
4. If you’re not learning and respecting each other’s buttons. This one can take time, but once you learn what pushes your significant other’s buttons – back off. If you find yourself wanting to make them mad or hitting them where it hurts when things get rough – run.
5. If you’re not appreciating the small stuff or being grateful. Saying thank you should come naturally. If you don’t appreciate what your partner does or don’t feel any gratitude from them, how will you ever find worth in your relationship?
6. If you’re not making each other laugh. You should know how to make each other laugh during hard times and have moments together you’re laughing so hard you can’t breathe. If you find yourself fighting more than laughing, how could you possibly be enjoying it?
7. If you’re not letting down your ego. Saying you were in the wrong or you’re sorry after a situation occurs shows your vulnerable side. You can’t always be right and you can’t constantly blame your partner. If you feel you need to keep your ego, you probably feel like you need to be in control of the relationship – and you should both be in the driver seat.
8. If you’re not growing together. We’re human – we change – and sometimes our views don’t match up with the one we love. If you’re not moving forward with the same mindset or goals, it may cause more friction down the road.
9. You’re not feeling confident about your relationship. You know that saying about trusting your gut, it’s true! If you’re already having doubts, it’s only going to get worse unless you face the issues head on and get to the root of them.