Your Anxiety Does Not Make You A Shitty Girlfriend

A girlfriend with anxiety
Unsplash / Analise Benevides

Sometimes your anxiety is going to make you feel like you are in the wrong place, surrounded by the wrong people, even when you want to feel comfortable.

Sometimes your anxiety is going to make you want to push away the people who care the most about you, even though deep down you would rather have them hold you close and convince you everything is going to be okay again.

Sometimes your anxiety is going to make you feel like you are a shitty girlfriend — but that is not the case.

Your anxiety might stop you from sending texts back right away and following through on certain plans, but it doesn’t stop you from loving with your whole heart. You are sensitive. You are sweet. You are dedicated to the people who mean the world to you. You would never hurt them on purpose. Any time you cause them discomfort or disappointment, it is not planned.

Your anxiety might make it hard for you to put your feelings into words and give affection in public places, but it doesn’t stop you from putting effort in from your side. You remember the little things people say. You spend forever searching for the perfect presents. You make a point to show your loved ones how much they mean to you through your actions, through the way you look at them, through the way you treat them on a day-to-day basis.

Your anxiety might make you question whether your person really cares as much as they claim and ask for reassurance from them, but it doesn’t make you unlovable. You are worthy of a relationship. You are strong. You are smart. You are a complete badass. You might think poorly of yourself, but the rest of the world sees you in a different light. They see you as someone of value. Someone who has earned a loving relationship.

You cannot let your anxiety convince you to stay single when your heart is begging for you to put yourself out there. You cannot let fear stop you from going after what you want.

Yes, you will probably date people who are unable to handle the way your brain makes you think. Yes, your anxiety will act as a burden sometimes. Yes, you will feel like a bad girlfriend sometimes — but that doesn’t mean it’s true.

You are kind. You are passionate. You have a soft heart. You would do anything for the people you love. You encourage them when they are questioning their worth. You lift them higher after they fall down. That is what makes you a good girlfriend. That is what makes you easy to love.

Your anxiety might impact your relationship, but it doesn’t have to ruin your relationship. Once you find the right person, you are going to feel understood. You are going to feel safe. You are going to feel like you are exactly where you are meant to be, even on the days when you feel like you’re stuck outside of your comfort zone. TC mark

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