The Truth About Why The Most Wonderful Kind Of Love Is The Hardest To Find

girl on balcony looking away
God & Man

They tell you to love someone who doesn’t leave, someone who won’t quit on you, give up on you. Love someone who stays. If only it were that simple. It’s easy to want this kind of love. It’s easy to dream about it, to imagine yourself in the middle of it, but it’s not easy to find.

And the love that’s hard to find, that’s the best kind. That’s the kind worth waiting for.

The kind of love that wakes you up in the morning, not because you’re wondering whether or not he texted you back, but because your body won’t let you sleep knowing he’s there to start the day with. The kind of love that makes you wonder why you ever wasted your time with anyone else who didn’t give you the love that you deserve. The kind of love that makes you think about your life before you had this incredible person in it, and how your happiness wasn’t nearly as happy back then as it is now.

And when you compare your life with and without this person, the without part seems so diluted. With them everything is vibrant. Without them things just seemed so normal, and there’s nothing wrong with normal, but normal doesn’t make you feel the same way extraordinary does. The love that’s hard to find does extraordinary things that normal love just doesn’t.

They tell you to love someone that fills you, not in a ‘you complete me’ kind of way, but in a way that makes your emptiness slowly start to feel less empty. Someone who makes all the uncertainties finally feel answered. They tell you to love the person who after feeling lost for so long, finally makes you feel like you’ve been found, like you’ve found yourself and who you really are, someone who allows you to be this person.

This is the kind of love that’s hard to find, the kind of love that believes in you, and being with this person makes you realize you never needed someone else to believe in yourself. They only reaffirmed the strength that was within you all along. And affirmation feels good, but when it happens in love, it feels better than good, it feels enlightening. It feels like all this time you’ve been holding your breath and then suddenly somehow you’re able to inhale, to exhale, like learning to appreciate all the little things you’ve always taken for granted. This kind of love makes you realize what truly matters, and what doesn’t.

That’s the kind of love that’s hard to find, the kind of love that makes you want to be a better person so you can be your best self each and every day you’re with them. Because they fell in love with who you are, regardless of who you once were, and they fall in love with the person you become more and more each day.

It’s hard to find the kind of love that makes you feel like your life magically aligned when they came into it, like things finally started to make sense. This kind of love, the kind of love that everyone talks about, writes about, stays up at night thinking about, it’s not impossible to find, but it’s rare, which is what makes everyone who has it feel so incredibly lucky that they do.

The ones who have it know that you can’t stop hoping, you can’t stop believing that it will happen for you too. Maybe you shouldn’t wait for the kind of love that’s hard to find, maybe it’s a matter of letting it find you. Live your life the way you want to live it, chase your dreams, surround yourself with people who make you happy, explore and discover everything this world has to give you, and then give some of it back, and always, always be ready to let love in. TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

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