When The Ones You Love Are Hurting, But Love Alone Can’t Fix It

blonde girl resting head on table
God & Man

I wish love alone could heal you, bring you back to life, to your normal-self. I wish love could make you feel whole again. I wish it could give you all the answers. I wish it could tell you why you feel this way, why you just don’t feel like yourself. I wish it could make you feel better. I wish it could magically make that terrible feeling disappear. And while I like to think that love is magical, love alone can’t fix the things that you need to fix yourself. Love is powerful, but it can only do so much. It’s your responsibility to do the rest.

It’s your responsibility to focus on yourself when you need to. It’s up to you to choose to put yourself first. You have to be the one who decides to try to make it better, to make yourself better, because your problems might have nothing to do with the ones you love, but they’re sure as hell affecting them, and they’re trying to fuck it all up.

Don’t let them. Don’t let these problems hurt the ones you love. Your loved ones might not understand what you’re going through, but they’ll be there for you if you allow them to be.  Please don’t push them away. Don’t make them feel unloved, because that terrible feeling that’s changing you, they feel it too, not in the same way, but their love for you makes them feel your pain. They want your hurt to disappear. They want their love to make your troubles drift away, and even though you know love alone can’t fix it, they’re still going to try.

Whatever it is, wherever these problems are coming from, they’re trying to take love away from you. They’re trying to rip love right from underneath you, to destroy every magic-like capability it used to have. The problems that love can’t fix, they’re trying to trick you. They’re trying to convince you that maybe you don’t deserve everything that love has done for you, that this wonderful love you’ve felt completely change your life in all the right ways isn’t meant for someone like you. Please don’t let them win. Please don’t let your struggles convince you you’re not worthy of a love this good. You are worthy of a love that gets even better.

You are worthy of a love that makes you feel strong, a love that makes you feel like you can do anything, be anything. You’re worthy of a love that makes you feel safe, a love that you know will always be there, when you’re scared, when you’re sad, or angry, or lost. You’re worthy of a love that doesn’t leave. You’re worthy of a love so good it makes you scared to lose it. You’re worthy of the kind of love that makes you feel incredibly lucky you found it. You deserve life-changing love even when your struggles and problems are trying to convince you otherwise.

So please hold on. Please keep trying. Please know that when love can’t fix it, it doesn’t mean love has to disappear. Love can help you, it can motivate you, inspire and encourage you, it can lead you down the path that finally makes you realize your struggles don’t have to win. I wish love alone could fix it, but at least let it guide you. Let this love point you in the right direction. Let this love make you believe that you’ll get better, and let it make you strong enough to actually do it. I wish love alone could fix it, but it can’t, so let this love help you fix yourself. TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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