I wish I could have been the perfect girl for you, but I am all fire and fury and no amount of watering down can extinguish my flames.
I am flawed in all the right ways, I am deeply passionate and expressive and when I rage, boy, do I rage. I rage with anger but also with love, a magical kind of love.
You call it overbearing and intense, and I say you can’t handle girls like me, wild and beyond your control.
I understand now that if you loved me enough, you would have been able to admire the light inside of me instead of assuming the danger. Maybe you felt threatened by me; maybe you were slightly insecure and that’s why you made presumptions and tried to tell me who I am. It’s so sad that you felt you needed to bring someone who loves you down instead of embracing them as they are and reveling in their self-assuredness.
You should have understood that even though I burned with such intensity it was never to hurt you or to make you feel small, it was me simply being me. I lived up to my true self. I owned my intensity.
I did not need you to try and put out the fire. I never called in an emergency, I was happy dancing in the light of my own flames, these precious orbs of ember that I ignited with my own two hands. I struggled to find my light and when I did, I felt powerful enough to set hearts on fire. You should never have tried to play firefighter, a hero of sorts, trying to fix me when really there was nothing to fix. I was happy. I was in a good place and honey, your help was hurting me more than anything else. You thought I was problematic, you thought I was trouble, you thought I was complicated and you thought I was a mess.
I’ve learned not to care anymore about what you think I am, or what you think I am not. It only matters what I think, and I think that I’m just a girl on fire who has no need of a hero because I can damn well save myself.
I think that girls like me scare boys like you.
I’m done trying to water down my fire to keep your ego afloat. If I burn, I burn for me.
You may have been blind to my light, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t burning bright. You’re just too self-involved to see.