Is It Normal To Still Love My Ex After He Shattered My Heart?

Drew Wilson

Your feelings aren’t going to magically disappear after someone shatters your heart into pieces. You won’t wake up the day after getting dumped, hating their guts and feeling completely healed at the same time.

Getting over someone can take much longer than you have anticipated. Time will pass. Situations will change. You will hear your friends say you deserve so much better and you are better off without him. You might even agree with those words — but agreeing with them and truly believing them are two separate things.

Even though your head knows you should want nothing to do with him, your heart has no idea things have changed. Your heart is the one begging you to text him, telling you to forgive him, reminding you how good he looked in his latest Instagram photo.

It’s unfair, but sometimes your feelings for him will grow even deeper after he breaks your heart because you will become even more obsessed with the idea of him. You will get stuck on unanswered questions: Why did he leave? What happened? What went wrong? Was there anything you could have done differently? 

Thoughts of him will consume every hour of your day. You will tell yourself you’re only asking those questions to find closure, but the real reason is because you are scared to let go of him. You don’t want to stop thinking about him. He is already out of your world. The only thing you have left of him are your memories and those questions.

Your lingering thoughts of him will make you feel like the relationship isn’t officially over yet. They will trick you into thinking you are putting off your heartache — but you are only prolonging it.

It can be hard to accept the person you cared so much about is out of your life. But it can be even harder to accept they are never going to come back, they are never going to set things right with you, they are never going to surprise you with a happily ever after.

It doesn’t matter whether your ex walked away from you thirty days ago or thirty minutes ago. A part of you is always going to love him.

You just have to remember that loving someone does not mean you are meant to be with that someone.

You can love someone who treats you like shit. You can love someone who makes you feel worthless. You can love someone who broke your heart. You can love someone who was never even yours in the first place. You can love someone who doesn’t deserve you at all.

You might still have strong feelings for your ex, but don’t let your heart convince you to give him another chance when he has already ran out of them. Don’t chase after someone who does not want to be caught. Don’t run back to the past because it is familiar.

Let yourself move on from him. Let yourself love someone else, someone who treats you right this time. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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