1. You only focus on the positive. He ignores your texts for days at a time — but when he finally texts you, he mentions that he misses you, so you’re happy. He flirts with other women in front of you — but then tells you how much he loves your haircut and you’re on good terms with him again. You become so excited when he actually pays attention to you that you forget about how horrible you felt when he was treating you like shit only a little while earlier.
2. You are putting too much emphasis on physical attraction. He likes your Instagram pictures. He snapchats you shirtless photos. He drunk texts you. He makes dirty jokes and compliments your appearance every chance he gets. You take those things as signs that he’s interested, but they don’t necessarily mean he wants to date you. They probably mean he wants to have sex with you.
3. Your friends only know half the story. Your friends keep insisting that he definitely likes you, but that’s because you only give them the positive details. You tell them about how he winked at you and brushed your hair back, but you never mention how he’s still on Tinder and how he keeps talking about his ex. They don’t know the full story so they can’t accurately guess whether he likes you or not.
4. You are reaching for explanations. Instead of coming to the conclusion that he’s not interested when he says he’s not ready for a relationship or wants to keep things casual, you tell yourself he’s shy or that he’s scared of how much he likes you and doesn’t want to get hurt again. You make up excuses for him so you can keep believing what you want to believe.
5. You initiate every encounter. You think he likes you because he answers most of your texts and hangs out whenever you ask him to come over. The only problem is that you’re the one initiating everything. If you stopped texting first, he would never talk to you again. If you stopped asking him over, he would never come over again. You’re always the catalyst.
6. You mistake his friendliness for flirtatiousness. He smiles at you. He asks you about your day. He texts you from time to time. He isn’t really doing anything romantic like playing with your hair or holding your hand or telling you how cute you look, but you still think he sees you as much more than a friend because he treats you decently instead of like complete shit.
7. You take everything out of context. When he says hello, you spend hours thinking about what that could mean. You overanalyze his body language. His tone. Subtle details that may or may not matter at all. You assume everything he says is deeper than it sounds. You force yourself to see things that aren’t there because you really want him to like you as much as you like him. You really want a relationship this time.