When you break up with someone, you’re bound to feel lonely. You’re bound to have moments where you can’t stand his guts and claim you never want to see his face again. And there will be other moments where you can’t stop thinking about the good times, the puppy love times, the times when you swore your relationship was going to last a lifetime.
When you start missing him, you’re going to be tempted to shoot him a text just to see how he’s been doing, but that could make you look desperate. That could make it seem like you’re losing the breakup. Like you can’t go on without him and he’s all you ever think about.
If you want your ex-boyfriend back, you’re going to have to go against your gut instincts and follow the no contact rule.
That means no reaching out to him. No answering his texts. No watching his snap stories. No liking his Instagram pictures. No stalking his Twitter. No showing up at his favorite restaurant hoping you’re going to run into him.
For at least thirty days, you are going to forget about his existence. You are going to live your life without him.
How the hell is that going to help you win him back?
It’s not. Your time alone is going to help you grow into a stronger, more independent woman who is happy being single — and that will help you win him back.
You’re going to look more desirable if you don’t need him to survive (and you don’t just say it, you mean it).
He isn’t supposed to be your entire world. He isn’t supposed to be the only reason you wake up in the morning.
If you follow the no contact rule, you will have more time for yourself. You will be able to get drunk with the best friends you haven’t seen in months. You will be able to cross things off your to-do list you have been procrastinating. You will be able to follow your passion. You will be able to reorganize your priorities.
Giving yourself space from him will remind you that you had a life before you met him. You are not one half of a couple. You are an individual with your own hopes and dreams and desires.
Your time without him will be a learning experience. It will give you the chance to love yourself. Respect yourself. Care for yourself.
If you follow the no contact rule for thirty days or sixty days or however long it takes you to rediscover yourself, then there is a higher chance he is going to want you back in his world. And if he refuses to get back together with you, that’s okay too, because you will already be okay without him. You will already know how to live without him.
In fact, after taking the time to find yourself, you might not even want him back. You might realize you’re better off without him.