I am slowly learning I cannot spend all of my free time taking care of others because I matter too. It’s not fair to neglect my own emotions because I feel like other people are more important. Because I think they deserve help more than I do. I need to stop thinking so low of myself and love myself.
I have enough problems of my own. I cannot spend my time worrying about everyone else because I would never get a moment of rest.
I pride myself on being a good friend, a good daughter, a good neighbor. If someone genuinely needs my help, I will do my best to provide it, but I cannot sacrifice my own success and sanity in order to help someone out of a trench they dug themselves.
I cannot neglect my mental health to continually assist someone whose problems honestly have nothing to do with me.
As much as I love my friends and family members, there are some things they need to handle on their own. I cannot always be there to rescue them. They are strong enough to figure out a solution without me.
I am not trying to be mean. I am not leaving my loved ones to rot alone. I will do everything possible to help them — to an extent. I am not going to empty my bank account or drive myself toward insanity to save someone who is perfectly capable of saving themselves. I am not going to let love make me stupid.
I am slowly learning I am not a superhero. I am not required to help every person who calls me with complaints. I am not obligated to say yes to every request.
It is okay for me to decide there is nothing I can do to help a situation and leave the person to figure things out on their own. I am allowed to focus on myself instead of concerning myself with the problems of others.
I am slowly learning to mind my own business. When I think I am helping someone, I might actually be hurting them. If I pull them out of trouble too many times, they might become dependent on me. They might lose their independence. They might struggle to survive when I’m not in the room to hold their hand.
Besides, there are times when I will spend hours on the phone with someone, giving tips on how to fix the situation they are stuck in, and they do not take my advice. They do not listen to a word I say. Helping them ends up being a complete waste of my time because nothing I did actually helped.
I am slowly learning to monitor how often I reach out to help others. I am trying my best not to feel guilty on the days when I am too busy to answer a phone call. I am trying my hardest not to feel bad about the fact that I need to take care of myself before I take care of anyone else.