You’re Not Doubting Your Relationship, You’re Doubting Yourself

A girl doubting her relationship
Unsplash / Joshua Rawson Harris

He treats you right. He respects you. He puts in effort. He makes you smile. He is everything that you have ever wanted and more.

But there are still moments when you wonder whether you are going to stay together forever.

That isn’t because he’s the wrong one for you. That isn’t because he lacks something you need. That isn’t because you are doubting him.

That is because you are doubting yourself.

You are letting your insecurities get the best of you. You aren’t sure if you are enough to keep someone in your world for years to come. You keep worrying that you are going to chase him away. That you are going to become too boring for him, too annoying for him.

You trust that he loves you now, but what about two years from now? Or ten? Or twenty? You are paranoid about the future because it feels like it’s out of your control.

You don’t want to get hurt again, so you are considering every potential scenario. One where you get married, buy a house, and live happily ever after. And one where you slowly fade apart until it’s finally time to break up.

Because you keep overthinking, you keep forgetting how strong your relationship is. There is no reason to worry about it ending. You are both putting in effort. Treating each other with respect. Enjoying every second you spend together. You’re happy. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

But you are still having doubts, because you are selling yourself short. You are thinking too poorly of yourself. You are assuming you don’t have enough to offer. You are assuming he sees you the same way you see yourself — and he doesn’t.

He sees you as someone beautiful. Intelligent. Talented. Perfectly imperfect. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be with you. He has high standards too. He wouldn’t stick with you, unless you were what he truly wanted. If he wanted out, then he would have left a long time ago.

Unfortunately, you have been hurt before and you are letting your past pain rub off on your present relationship. You are worried about history repeating itself with someone new.

Even though things are going perfectly now, you are convinced the strong love you have will eventually weaken — and you think you will be the reason why. You think you will be the one to blame when it all falls apart.

You are only doubting your relationship because you are doubting yourself. You are acting like your own worst enemy. Instead of seeing how much you have to offer, you are only seeing the worst pieces of yourself. You are doing yourself a disservice.

Stop doubting yourself, because you are good enough.

Stop doubting yourself, because there is nothing for you to worry about.

Stop doubting yourself, because you have what it takes to last a lifetime with someone.

Find a way to replace your self-doubt with self-love. Find a way to start loving yourself the way he loves you. TC mark

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