Stop rereading your old conversations. Stop living inside of a make-believe world where you two are still an item. He is gone. He is never coming back. And you are never going to chase him. You are going to accept that he is a part of your past. You are going to move on from this.
Stop playing that sad song that makes you think of him whenever you’re driving, whenever you’re bored, whenever you have earbuds popped in your head. The lyrics are relatable, and it feels good to cry, but you can’t keep crying forever. You can’t keep romanticizing your relationship. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.
Stop replaying what happened in your head again and again. Stop attempting to pinpoint the moment where it all went wrong. Stop thinking about the what ifs that would have happened if you said something differently, if you acted differently, if you dressed differently. Stop acting like you can rewind time and change the past. You can’t so there’s no sense in reliving your old life when you could be building your new one.
Obsessing over him is not going to give you closure. Nothing good is going to come from repeating his name inside of your head, from looking for him inside of every crowded room, for letting him occupy every waking (and dreaming) thought.
He’s not thinking about you, which means he doesn’t deserve a spot in your mind. So stop allowing him to live there.
You have to make a conscious effort to stop thinking about him. Stop letting your mind wander back to him whenever you’re bored at work, whenever you’re on a long train ride, whenever you’re drifting off to sleep at night.
Stop making up scenarios in your head about what you would do if you ran into him during your lunch break, if he sat next to you on the train, if he threw rocks on your windowpane. Stop imagining what you would say to him if fate brought you together again. Stop thinking about how you would lean close and kiss him or laugh and curse him out.
There is no reason to think about him. There is no reason to give him any attention, even inside of your mind. He doesn’t deserve a second more of your time, an ounce more of your energy.
Instead of rereading your old conversations, reach out to a close friend and talk about what’s been going on with her. Instead of listening to that sad song that reminds you of him, play a song about empowerment, about loving the single life, about loving yourself. Instead of replaying what happened in your head again and again, plan for the future — for a vacation you want to take or a sleepover you want to have or a dog you want to adopt.
Stop torturing yourself with thoughts of him. Stop dwelling on what could have been. Stop doing this to yourself because you know damn well you don’t deserve it.