12 Ways You’re Making Him Think You’re Just A Fling And Not A Keeper (Without Even Realizing It)

seductive blonde woman
God & Man

1. You only prioritize physical connection.

Lasting relationships have both physical and emotional connection. It’s not just one or the other, but a balance of both. Thinking that you have to attract him physically first, isn’t necessarily right or wrong, but it makes him think that’s what you care about the most. A physical connection will definitely attract him to you, but it won’t be enough to make a relationship last.

2. You get wasted when you’re with him.

He won’t take you seriously if you can’t form a complete sentence by the end of the date. He wants you to enjoy yourself, but he doesn’t want you to be falling over or have your head in the toilet by the end of the night.

3. You drunk call/text him.

He can tell when you’ve had one too many glasses of Pinot, especially when you start texting him things that he knows you’d never say in person, like how you just want to pinch his cute little cheeks and kiss his face off. It’s fine if you do it once and use the, ‘Sorry I was drunk,’ excuse, but when you do that every weekend it makes him think you’re not that serious.

4. You talk about other guys (who he thinks you might be sleeping with).

When you mention Brandon from the gym who taught you how to stretch your glutes, he’s thinking you and Brandon potentially did more than just stretch. When you constantly talk about other guys it makes him think there’s so many other men in your life, that there’s not enough room for him.

5. You always talk about your exes.

If you constantly talk about the men you used to love he might think you’re still in love with them. He understands you have exes, everyone does, but he wants to know that you’ve completely moved on from them.

6. You play hard to get.

There aren’t games in real relationships. There’s just the way things are, and the way people feel. And if you fail to understand and express those things than you’re not ready for something serious, and he’ll sense that.

7. You’re allergic to serious conversations.

If he tries to bring up the things that move your relationship forward, like meeting his parents or going to his family holiday party, and you completely avoid the conversation, it makes him think that you’re afraid of a real relationship. He wants to know that he can talk about the serious things with you.

8. The main thing you talk about in conversation is sex.

He thinks you’re just a fling when you avert the important conversations by bringing up sex. If he wants a serious relationship with you, he wants more than sex. Yes, he will most likely be turned on when you talk about taking him home and ripping all his clothes off, but he wants to know that you’ll be there for him when he needs you, and not just physically.

9. You always want to hangout with just the two of you.

When you attempt to keep your relationship isolated from other people, it makes him think you either don’t want him to meet your friends or you’re entirely too obsessed and don’t want to share him with anyone else. Either way, both scenarios make him think you’re just a fling, and not a keeper.

10. You talk about the future way too soon.

When you talk about marriage or children or buying a house together when you haven’t even clarified the exclusivity of your relationship, he’s most likely going to freak out and run the other direction. Healthy relationships take as much time as they need. They don’t feel rushed or pressured or pushed, they happen at a pace that feels right for the both of you.

11. You center your life around him.

He sees a fling as someone who centers their entire world around him because any rational human being doesn’t make a relationship their whole world. You each had your own life before this relationship and you’ll each have your own life in it. You don’t have to make your life all about him to get him to date you. You can enjoy your independence and have a healthy relationship while doing it.

12. You talk about love before you actually feel it.

If you say you love him before you actually feel it, it’s most likely with hopes that it will bring him closer to you, but realistically, it will probably push him away. Don’t say things you don’t feel or mean in attempts to make people stay. Be honest with yourself and don’t rush something that isn’t supposed to be rushed. Take your time to understand the way you feel, and take your time in expressing that. TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

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