1. Touching me anywhere at all.
“Touching me anywhere at all. Men: sit on your hands if you have to but do not touch a girl on the first date. She will touch you if she likes you.”
2. Being late.
“Being late for the date—no matter how busy you are, that’s reserved for us girls. Being insecure and blaming it on your date; hey, if your manners suck, I am going to call you out on it!”
3. Talking about their skills in the bedroom.
“Talking about their skills in the bedroom. It’s like, this is the first time we’ve ever met in person. I don’t need to hear how much you enjoy ‘eating pussy’ and how good you (allegedly) are at it over dinner in a crowded restaurant.
Also, what’s a ‘first date?’ Seems like all I ever get asked these days is the noncommittal ‘Wanna hang out sometime?’”
4. Dick pics.
“I don’t want to see a picture of your penis. No matter how many times you ask.”
5. Whining about crazy exes.
“Whining about how crazy exes done you wrong.
Yeah, some people are unpredictable. But if more than one of your exes went ‘crazy,’ there’s a good chance you’re looking for the wrong thing, don’t pay attention (at all), or are actually the crazy one.”
6. Trying hard to impress.
“Some men spend way too much time coming up with things they think will ‘impress’ women. I really don’t care how to hear about how rich you pretend you are or what kind of car you drive. Modesty goes a long ways and no amount of money in the world will make up for a flat personality.”
7. Bragging about how much money they make.
“Bragging about how much money they make. I hate the money conversation with a passion. Unless we’re getting serious, how much you make is none of my business and how much I make is none of yours.”
8. Agreeing with everything I say.
“Agreeing with everything I say.
I had one guy who did this. He suddenly had the same opinion and views. He also suddenly liked metal music. Have a own identity guys, you don’t have to be ‘like me.’ One version of me in this world is enough.”
9. Dissing feminists.
“‘I’m glad you’re not one of those man-hating feminists.’
10. Texting/using social media.
“I’ve been on three first dates where they were texting or using social media from half the date to almost the entire time. Mid-date with the third guy, I grabbed my coat and walked out. He texted me as I was walking through the door, ‘where are you going?’ If you’re actually interested in the person you’re on a date with, don’t use your phone unless it’s urgent.”
11. Presenting a single rose at the beginning of the date—now she has to carry it around for the rest of the evening.
“Presenting a single rose at the beginning of the date—now she has to carry it around for the rest of the evening, and it’s a pain. Send flowers the next day, to her work if possible, assuming the date went well; if it didn’t just thank her politely at the end of the evening.”
12. Not asking enough questions.
“Not asking enough questions. This guy asked me out and didn’t ask a single thing about me. I was asking him a ton of questions about himself and his life, but whenever he answered, there would just be this deadness and awkward silence between us. When I brought up how quiet he was, he got super defensive and was like, ‘This is just how I am, okay?!’ Turns out all he wanted was to bang and that was it. So fucking tactless.
In that same vein, if you KNOW in the back of your mind she is genuinely looking to meet someone to date exclusively, don’t lead her on with the intentions of just banging her and not calling her back. This shit happened to me too often in my early twenties and I was too naive to tell the signs from the start. Be clear with your intentions and respect hers as well.”
13. Asking too many questions.
“Lots of people are commenting on the lack of questions but there’s been a few times where I’ve felt like I was at a job interview lol. I guess there’s a balance to it. Don’t grill me like you want to maybe hire me. Let the conversation flow naturally.”
14. Getting way too emotionally invested.
“Getting way too emotionally invested in the first date. Not good to have sky-high expectations riding on how it goes; you’re pretty much guaranteed to be disappointed.”
“Bragging. Also humbebragging. If it comes up naturally I get it, but so many dudes are just dying to mention an award, ranking, name-drop, or hint at having a lot of money that they will just awkwardly shove it into our conversation. It gives me the sense that the guy wants validation from me instead of companionship.
I understand being proud of an accomplishment, especially if it took a lot of hard work. There is a difference between showing me what you care about and showing off.”
16. I hate when they ask about my bra size and surgical history, especially in the same sentence.
“• Ask about bra size and surgical history
• Tell me their kinks and fetishes
• Curse a lot
• Assume I’m going home with him.”
17. When they offer you the world.
“If I meet a guy and he instantly starts offering me the world and going overboard with gifts and fancy plans, I lose interest. That doesn’t feel sincere to me. It feels like he’s happy to have found someone, not that the someone is me. And if he’s offering all of that to me so quickly, what’s to stop him from offering it to someone else when he does really get to know me and see that I’m not some magical goddess queen, but a real person who maybe doesn’t live up to the extremely high expectations he set?
But also, if a guy starts offering me the world and gifts…it makes me think that he feels he has nothing else to offer.
Be yourself. Take it slowly. The right girl won’t need the world or gifts—you will be enough, as you are.
As much as you want to show her you’re worth her time, let her show you that she’s worth your time, too. It goes both ways. You want someone who will fight for you like you would fight for them, not someone who will run away when the gifts stop.”
18. Interrupting and steering the conversation back to them.
“Even if you don’t think I’m what I’m saying is interesting, for the love of God pretend.
Nothing is more of a ball buster than talking about something you’re passionate about and being constantly interrupted by him relating it back to his life or changing the conversation.
If you ask me a question, let me talk, and at least try to act like you care about my answer.”
19. Being mean to strangers.
“Being mean. Went on a date with a guy to a restaurant and some 16-year-old girl next to us took a quick photo of her (beautifully plated) meal. He said, ‘Snapchat!’ in a really sarcastic, loud way. I just thought, wtf? She’s obviously enjoying the meal, she might have someone she’s sending the pic to, and there’s no need to just straight up mock her—she wasn’t being distracting or over the top. IDK, it just rubbed me the wrong way.”
20. Inappropriately timed kissing.
“Inappropriately timed kissing. One time I was out with a guy I was getting along with, then, in the middle of me sharing a story, he kissed me. I spent the whole kiss wondering if he was trying to shut me up and itching to finish what I was saying. He kept kissing me like that for the remainder of the evening to the point I just stopped talking and then he was like, ‘Why you so quiet?’
Another couple of dudes just like jumped in for the kiss when I didn’t see it coming at all, both times quite surprised, no preamble to it. I don’t know maybe I’m being too romantic in thinking that there’s got to be a better time for that first kiss? Not just to like, get it out of the way.”
21. Getting nerd-guy territorial.
“Getting nerd-guy territorial when I mention I like Star Trek/comics/video games and trying to establish themselves as the Alpha Nerd/trying to out-trivia me. I assume they’re trying to impress me but it just comes off as obnoxious ‘I know more than you, nyeh-nyeh’ posturing.”
22. Behaving unnaturally.
“I would say the most common is simply behaving in a way that is not natural to them. Even a guy falling over himself to be nice/accommodating makes me uncomfortable because I feel the pressure to do the same and depending on the guy I may get the feeling he is trying to mask something. I think it also reflects maturity and a certain degree of trust for a guy to be ‘normal’ and I’m much more likely to open up about myself if I don’t feel like someone is shining a spotlight on me.”
23. Commenting on how expensive the date was for him.
“Paying for the date and then commenting on how expensive it was cringe.”
24. Um, excuse me? My eyes are up here.
“Not making eye contact.”
25. Everything guys do on first dates is stupid.
“• doesn’t tip
• rude to servers/staff
• interrupts often
• talks about an ex
• Gets sexual too soon/too much
• Compliments too much/back handed compliments
• uses my name too much/in every sentence
• is too smug/pompous/condescending
• is too soft spoken
• Doesn’t listen/uses his phone while I’m talking
• Doesn’t contribute to the conversation/completely takes the conversation over (first dates are turn based games)
• starts bragging about all his money/expensive possessions
• underdressed (torn/stained clothing says you don’t care)
• gets too emotional over little things (gets angry/offended during healthy first date, albeit sarcastic, banter)
• talks crap about people (friends, family, exes, strangers near by)
• a negative attitude
• talks too much about himself/doesn’t contribute to the topic of the conversation
Just be confident, but show her you care with little things. The little things add up more than huge gestures In the beginning.”