Here’s Why Women Love Geeks, Dorks And Nerds

Thought Catalog
Thought Catalog

’80s movies lied, guys. Women really do love geeks, dorks and nerds – and the nice guy certainly doesn’t finish last. If you want to understand why women love geeks, first you’ll have to understand the key differences between a woman and a girl.

A girl is likely to be attracted to a “bad boy” — someone edgy and mysterious, who treats her badly and makes her jump through hoops for his attention because he’s too self-absorbed to prioritize her. This is the type of guy who would choose a gym date over a date with her.

A woman, however, is over dating bad boys and instead wants to date someone with whom she can have an intelligent conversation. Once a girl has grown into a sophisticated, respectable woman, she’ll know exactly what she’s looking for and she’ll have higher self-esteem, allowing her to appreciate being treated well. A woman will appreciate the nice, geeky guy; a girl won’t.

Geeks, dorks and nerds also tend to be passionate in their life pursuits. They’re focused on all the right things and dedicated to their goals, which is one of the sexiest qualities a man can possess. While many women will admire a man’s sense of style and certainly notice that he has on the newest pair of Kanye West Adidas, they’re still seeking out a man with depth and intelligence at the forefront.

Relationship Expert April Masini, who founded the AskApril relationship forum explains: “Geeks, dorks and nerds are the new jocks. The quarterback always got the girl — but the geek gets the woman. Looks don’t matter as much to women as personality does. A woman wants to dates someone who is smart and funny — and geeks, dorks and nerds fit that bill. They’re focused, hardworking and great in bed because they always want to master every task they set out to accomplish. Geeks are especially attractive due to their high-self-esteem which stems from having a great work ethic and from being naturally intelligent.”

While suave bad boys tend to be self-absorbed, geeks are instead very passionate about what they do, and they prioritize all the things in life that should be prioritized — which makes them incredibly successful and ambitious.

Having interesting passions and unique hobbies — even geeky ones — makes you super attractive. I dated a guy who looked incredibly dorky in his golf outfits, but I still loved seeing him get ready for golf. It showed that he had hobbies and interests, and I appreciated how dorky he looked because I knew he was confident in the way he looked no matter what – and that’s sexy.

Jay Ewing, CEO of Bird Golf confirms: “Golfers are kind of nerdy. Bright polo shirts, plaid pants, and visors? Yep. We got ‘em. But women want men who play sports that demand creativity and skill, not just body checks and sprinting. Women appreciate a man with precision, skill and out-of-the-box thinking, and that’s golf.” Your geeky hobby is much more attractive than another man’s ability to smooth-talk her or flex his biceps at her. I’ll choose the golfer over the douche taking selfies at the gym any day.

Women definitely aren’t blind to the many perks of dating a geek, nerd or a dork. These men often have an awesome sense of humor, they often have great careers, and they’re focused and dedicated to their work. They have their life in order.

A man who can carry an intellectual conversation will always stand out, and spending time with him will be more desirable than with a man who has poor conversational skills.

Relationship expert, psychologist and Ph.D Jeanette Raymond explains: “A man who has a keen interest or passion in something outside of himself signals that he is able to take care of himself, make himself happy and utilize his time productively — which is a real turn-on. It’s attractive when a man can offer a woman intelligence, drive and vitality to make the most of his life.”

Ambitious women who are smart and driven are certainly looking for a man with the same qualities. Kelly Seal, relationship expert and author of Date Expectations, reveals: “Match.com’s annual survey showed that using proper grammar was one of the most important qualities women looked for in a partner. This was even more important to them than the man’s confidence level! There’s a reason why the smart guy is so appealing: he comes across as thoughtful and able to take care of business. He comes across as a man with a good head on his shoulders, who’s confident in himself. At the end of the day, women want to be with someone who engages them with their conversation skills, not just someone who can flirt or has a hot body.”

New York based Relationship Expert, therapist and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, Dr. Jane Greer agrees: “Intelligence is appealing because those who are smart and knowledgeable have a certain authority in how they speak, and they have a sense of control around them. The geek is the epitome of intelligence. The fact that they have a passion reflects their level of commitment, devotion and positive energy.”

So there you have it. When a man is naturally intelligent, good at what he does, passionate about something, has an impressive resume and has his life in order, he oozes confidence. Women respect and admire the geeks, dorks and nerds of this generation — and they want to date them, too. TC mark

Erica Gordon

Erica is a writer, blogger and dating expert from Vancouver, BC. She runs The Babe Report, a free advice column for millennials. Get her book, Aren’t You Glad You Read This?, a how-to guide for singles, here!

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