Unless you’re a writer, editor, or in the publishing industry in some capacity you probably have no idea what AWP is and that’s cool. Please divert your attention over here because this list is not for you, darling. AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Programs) is an annual thing where writers basically hang out, get drunk, and talk about all things writing and publishing. It’s pretty fun. For those of us who were not able to make it though, it’s slightly torture/annoying because during the duration of AWP we basically can’t be online without hearing about everything happening at AWP. This is a list of our struggles.
1. For whatever reason you couldn’t make it to AWP this year.
2. At first you were like, eh, no big deal, I’ll be there next year in LA.
3. Then you start to see the flood of updates happening.
4. Facebook posts, Twitter hashtags, IT’S ALL HAPPENING.
5. ~*~ w i t h o u t y o u ~*~
6. FOMO slowly starts to set in.
7. Omg, Cheryl Strayed is there! Isaac Fitzgerald! Roxane Gay!! All your favorite writers seem to be there.
8. Except you. Not you. You didn’t go.
9. At first you’re feeling all wistful about it.
10. You see everyone’s pics and you’re like, sigh, that’s so cool.
11. You ‘like’ or fav their updates in support like “yeah, guys!! Hope you’re having fun!! Haha I’ll see you next year!”
12. You go to sleep. Next day rolls around. AWP updates keep rolling through your social media accounts.
13. IT’S EVERYWHERE.
14. Your friends are snap chatting you like, “hey, look at me! I’m with motherfucking George Saunders!!”
15. Friends keep inviting you to offsite AWP events. Readings, drinks, parties with everyone you know from literary Twitter and beyond. Binder meetups.
16. You’re like, srsly. please stop.
17. You go to bed, wake up the next day, MORE TWEETS ABOUT AWP.
18. You’re like, the fuck? How many days is this god damn conference?
19. You start muting people left and right. Twitter. Facebook. Does Instagram have a mute option because they should. NO WHERE ON THE INTERNET IS SAFE.
20. You’re just trying to enjoy your daily dose of social media like, can I live?
21. Luckily, your non-AWP friends are equally just as annoyed.
22. Your literary bff says, “whatever, I’m GLAD I’m not at AWP.” You nod in support.
23. Next year, you think. Next year we’ll be there.