Strong Women Don’t End Up In Unhealthy, Toxic Or Almost Relationships

Do you ever notice how certain women just don’t end up in the wrong relationships? How every relationship they choose seems to be with someone who is just as invested in the relationship. Regardless of how circumstances might change in their own life, the one thing that doesn’t and that’s the relationships they have with standup people.

Is there a drastic difference between girls who end up in almost relationships and lingering ones that never turn into anything more? Is it painted in black in white for you to see? Is it that some girls just are better at dating and finding the right person? Or does it have to do with the little things they do? The things they say and do and how they carry themselves.

The main reason strong women don’t end up in toxic relationships is that they don’t let themselves. That’s what it comes down to.

They value themselves a little more.

They have enough self-respect to realize that if someone does not treat them well, they walk away, they don’t try harder.

Strong women demand respect and if it isn’t given to them they stop associating with that person.

They don’t end up in relationships where they are confused because they make it clear what they want. They don’t chase after guys because they know exactly what to do and say to ensure they are the ones chased.

The difference between these two girls comes down to really simple factors…

Strong women value themselves more than the relationships they have.

Their focus isn’t on saying and doing the right thing, they focus on being the right person for themselves and no one else.

While the other girl is fumbling trying to be what someone else may want losing themselves to relationships in a desperate attempt to keep someone. These girls define their own self-worth and value based on who they have standing next to them.

Meanwhile, a strong woman has no problem standing alone.

She doesn’t doubt herself or question herself. She is confident even in her mistakes. Meanwhile, the other girl is so fixated on the fact she might have messed up, her energy shifts to negative and self-sabotage.

Strong women make choices that reflect what they want and she doesn’t feel guilty about those things or dwell in the past.

Strong women don’t waste time looking at others being jealous or envious because they look at themselves proud of the person they’ve become. If they want to change it’s to make themselves better not to make themselves more like someone else.

Strong women are selective about whom they choose. Because who you choose to be with impacts your life and the person you become. She doesn’t settle for the first person that gives her attention. She doesn’t go home with the first guy that buys her a drink. She doesn’t do these things because she has value and self-worth and doesn’t need those things to make her feel better or more whole.

Strong women are whole by themselves. Weak women seek out relationships because they feel like that’s what is missing.

Strong women keep people guessing not to be a bitch or play hard to get but because she knows to keep someone interested you don’t play all your best cards immediately. There has to be a mystery there.

Strong girls know the value of time. They know exactly what moves to make and when. They don’t answer quickly or drop what they are doing just because someone of potential interest reached out. But more than they don’t let themselves get led on or fucked with.

What makes a strong woman is her ability to control the narrative of what is happening in the relationship. While the other girl allows a man to control exactly how she acts or responds.

It’s a few words:


When you wonder why certain women end up in healthy relationships and others don’t, it has to do with how they view themselves.

When you are only confident when someone is giving you attention, you’ll never be able to stand alone.

When you aren’t strong enough to walk away from unhealthy relationships or ignore someone who isn’t worth it, you’ll end up in a lot of relationships where people don’t care.

When you don’t have dignity or self-respect you’ll find yourself in relationships where the person doesn’t respect you.

When you love someone more than you love yourself when they leave it’ll feel like a loss to you.

And when you don’t have self-worth and pride you’re going to settle for less than you deserve because you never demanded more. And you’ll wonder why are you bad at relationships.

But you are asking yourself the wrong question. The question isn’t why are you bad at relationships but why are you choosing the wrong people?

The question isn’t why don’t people like you or want to be with you but why are you basing your self-worth on that and why don’t you like yourself?

We choose the wrong people when we don’t have a good relationship with ourselves.

Ask a strong woman what she doesn’t like about herself and she won’t have an answer. Ask the other girl she’ll tell you a list of many things she wishes she could change.

If you want to change the relationships you have in your life, first, start by changing the relationship you have with yourself. Once that relationship is better, you won’t be jealous of what someone else might have because you will have it too. But by then you might not even want that because when you are truly content and happy with yourself, you aren’t so desperately searching for what might be missing.

Things don’t just happen to us. So many of the things we have in our life is a reflection of what we allow. What we say to ourselves. The way we act.

Strong women don’t end up in toxic relationships because they respect themselves enough to not allow those things to happen to them. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.

Keep up with Kirsten on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok and

More From Thought Catalog