When You Think They Are The One And It Ends

Woman-Alone
God & Man

When you think they’re the one and it ends, there’s no way to describe that pain you feel.

It’s like everything you once thought was reality becomes this painted lie.

And suddenly you are looking back at everything struggling to decipher what’s real and what wasn’t.

When you think they’re the one and it ends suddenly they mess up every plan you had.

Maybe you thought about how you’d ask the big question and where exactly.

Maybe you saved money for this life you thought would be together.

Maybe in your mind, you had this all planned out. And it seemed like a perfect picture.

Then the words it’s over hit you out of nowhere and you were left just wondering how?

The word ex-strings. So you don’t say it. Their name stings so you don’t say that either.

You’re just overwhelmed with this pain that you can’t shake.

And you aren’t sleeping. And you aren’t eating. And they are in every thought.

You cling to anything that might be hopeful but you can feel them drifting.

It’s the pictures that get untagged. The memories across social media that get deleted. Like it wasn’t real or it didn’t happen at all.

But how could all these things you feel so deeply, all these memories that are painfully engraved in your heart that’s breaking suddenly fade so fast and how can they just forget?

And as they move on you’re stuck.

You just wonder how do they make it look so easy? How do they just fall out of love with you when they swore it was real?

You lay there at night and you remember what it was like when they were right there next to you. Now your bed feels a little too big for one and you feel lonely.

And you hear they moved on and you knew it would happen. Maybe it’s someone new. Maybe it’s some ex that you don’t understand how they got back with.

You compare yourself to them knowing you’re better but still feeling like you’re not enough because they didn’t choose you.

When you gave your best and your best falls short you’re wondering is it you? And pick yourself apart even though you know you shouldn’t. But when you get rejected by someone you love and care about all you can do is look at your reflection wondering what is it they didn’t like.

Because here you were loving this person to the best of your ability and it still ended.

I know it hurts. I know you feel lonely.

I know what it’s like to search for them in the eyes of strangers just hoping to find a familiarity that makes you feel a little less empty. So you lay in strangers beds filling voids for merely moments but then you end up alone again missing them.

I wish I could take your pain away. I wish this wasn’t something you were going through.

But what I can tell you is sometimes when you give your best to someone, it isn’t that your best isn’t good enough. It’s that they aren’t right or deserving of it. And there’s nothing you can do to change someone not being right for you.

And I know how hard that is to accept. When you think you found your soulmate or someone you love and care about and you think they’re the one, only to be met with this reality they don’t feel the same way, it’s not easy to just accept.

So you fight for them. You jump through hoops trying to prove you deserve them. Maybe you make yourself look foolish in the process. When the pain gets mixed with alcohol all that comes out is everything raw and may be honest but it’s you desperately trying.

You deserve someone who tries for you. You deserve someone who doesn’t want to lose you.

The thing is nothing about the right love is desperate or something you need to try that hard for. The right love is something you’ll know and it won’t be some fantasy you make up as you jump to these conclusions of what if. The right person will make those fantasies realities.

What I can remind you after heartbreak and breakups, it does happen for a reason. And that isn’t just some cliche saying I’m feeding you to lessen the blow. I know how much it hurts. I know the pain you are feeling is almost unbearable.

But if you can believe me, for all these things you’re feeling, there is something better on the other side of this once you get through it.

As bad as things are right now that’s how much better they are going to be.

And as much as you thought you loved this person and as hard as you tried and as much as you did, there is someone else out there who will not only reciprocate all these things you do but will reciprocate everything you feel.

One day you will be grateful for this pain. One day you’ll be happy it didn’t work out. Because you deserve everything you’d be willing to give. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

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