You’re Allowed To Fuck Up

You’re Allowed To Fuck Up
Jan Phoenix

We’ve all been guilty of beating ourselves up for seemingly trivial things.

You lie awake the entire night, wondering where and how you went wrong until your mind and head hurt. You look in the mirror and only see an incompetent and pathetic person tainted by the imagery of who you used to be. You belittle, bully, and disparage yourself until you’re only a speck of nothingness. You blame yourself for the bad breakups, the fights, the arguments. For losing someone. For fucking up.

The truth? You’re allowed to fuck up. More than once.

I’m here to tell you that you aren’t any of it.

You aren’t what happened to you a month, week, or hell, even a day ago. You aren’t that bad test grade. You aren’t the ex who you let all over yourself, ravenously consuming each part of you. You aren’t the toxic relationships, the frenemies, the abusive partner. You aren’t the fucked up shit you did to your ex, friends, or yourself. You aren’t that little voice inside you, shunning your light out, making you believe you’re worthless.

I’m here to tell you that you alone are a thousand times enough.

You’re the music you hum to on your bad days. You’re your favorite characters in the books you reread on Sunday mornings in your pajamas. You’re the way your eyes glimmer with enthusiasm and zeal when you talk about how much you love that show. You’re the way you cackle with laughter until your belly hurts over something your sister said. You’re the way your nose and eyes wrinkle when you smile. You’re the far-off places you’ve traveled, the new friends you made along with the way. You’re the days you go out with your girlfriends, feeling like a goddamned queen.

And just like the phoenix, you’re allowed to grow from the ashes of whom you used to be. To forgive. To evolve. To set yourself free. To hurt all you want and be strong enough to let it all go.

I hope you realize it’s never too late to start all over again. To rewrite, alter, and change everything that’d been and can become.

And if not, I hope you find the right courage and will to dance through life and make it yours all over again. TC mark

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