The worst thing you can do is text me at the last second, asking if I want to grab drinks with you. Of course I want to see you, but I don’t want to rush to get ready.
I need time to shower, to shave, to pick out an outfit, to apply my makeup. I need time to prepare myself physically and mentally. If I thought I was going to spend the night in pajamas in front of a Netflix screen, it’s hard for me to switch gears and get ready to socialize.
I hate last second plans. I need a warning. I need a schedule that is set in stone.
That’s why open-ended plans are just as bad for me. Don’t tell me that you might be free on Saturday and might have time to meet me after work. I need a yes or a no. I need to know what I’m doing so I can prepare properly.
I don’t want to waste my time getting ready for you if there is a chance we won’t actually see each other. I have better things to do than stand in front of a mirror for an hour, trying to figure out which outfit will impress you.
If you are unable to see me, that’s okay. I just want to know so I can rearrange my schedule. If we aren’t hanging out, I could be getting work done. I could be spending my time doing something productive.
I’m a planner. I like to know what to expect throughout my week. I’m also anxious. It freaks me out when my schedule changes at the last second. I don’t like surprises. I don’t like spontaneity.
I’m not trying to be difficult. The truth is that I’m pretty accommodating. If you want to grab breakfast with me, that’s fine. If you want to leave at nine at night, that’s fine too. I’ll go shopping with you. I’ll go to concerts with you. I’ll go rock climbing with you. I just need to know what the plan is before is happens.
I have trouble going with the flow. I want information ahead of time so I know what I’m getting myself into.
If you want to hang out with me, if you have your heart set on seeing me, make plans with me a few days earlier. Don’t give me short notice. Don’t wait until you’re ready to leave to check if I’m free.
When you ask me to hang out at the last second, it makes me feel like a backup plan. Like you had nothing better to do so you decided you might as well see if I’m available.
I don’t want to be your second choice. I want to be the person you plan on hanging out with on Saturday. I want you to spend the entire work week looking forward to seeing me.
I hate last second plans. I never agree to last second plans. You can either ask me if I’m free a few days ahead of time or you aren’t going to see me at all.