You Aren’t In An Almost Relationship With Him, You Are Only His Backup Plan

A girl in an almost relationship
Unsplash / Joanna Nix

He only texts you when no one else is answering his texts. When other people are available, his first choice is to hang out with them. That is why you are always staring at your phone, watching him drink beer on his snap story and sling his arm around other girls in his instagram pictures.

He doesn’t want to be your boyfriend. He barely even qualifies as your almost boyfriendHe is just some guy who is using you.

He might toss you some breadcrumbs every once in a while to make sure you are still interested, but he will never put in real effort. He will only go halfway. He will only put in the minimum amount of work. He will never make a decision to commit. He will only send more and more mixed signals as time goes by.

You’ve been wondering why it takes him so long to answer your texts. Why he’ll sometimes message you first and then go missing in action after you answer. Why he’ll act like he is crazy about you one day and then disappear the next day like you don’t mean anything to him.

The answer is simple. He only wants you when you are the only option left.

He doesn’t want anything to do with you when he has better things to do with his time. When his friends are free, he will cancel plans with you to hang out with them. When another girl answers his texts, he will decide to ignore yours so he can focus on her instead.

He is treating you like a second choice and you are letting it happen because you have strong feelings for him.

Every time you forgive him for going days without talking to you or let it slide when he leaves your messages on read, you are encouraging his behavior. You are letting him know it’s okay if he ignores you, because you will still be there whenever he decides to come waltzing back.

If you want things to change, you have to put your foot down. You have to make it clear you are unwilling to play his little games. He can either start treating you like a priority or he can stop talking to you completely.

When you raise your standards, you are probably going to lose him. Since he only thought of you as a backup plan, he won’t miss you much. It will be easier for him to put you in his past than actually put effort into a relationship with you.

And that is okay. It is better to stay single, to hold out for someone who truly sees your worth, than to settle for someone who can’t tell how lucky they are to have your attention.

Don’t let anybody treat you like a backup plan, even if you are absolutely head over heels about them, because they don’t deserve your love. They don’t deserve anything from you unless they can give just as much back in return. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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