I Am Sick Of Being The ‘Nice Girl’

Jenny Woods

I am tired of letting others take advantage of my kindness. I am sick of getting my heart broken. I am done giving people the benefit of the doubt. I want to be the heartbreaker for a change.

Instead of giving out second and third chances to people who have already hurt me, I am going to walk away from them before they have the chance to hurt me again.

I am going to detach myself. I am going to stop keeping people around because we have history. I am going to start caring more about my own happiness than the comfort of the toxic people surrounding me.

If I am better off without someone in my world, then they will be removed without any guilt.

I am not going to feel guilty about expecting to be treated with respect.

I am not going to feel guilty about raising my standards after a lifetime of leaving them low.

I am not going to censor myself anymore. I am not going to be nice when I will only get kicked around in return. If someone wants respect from me, then they better give me respect.

I am no longer interested in one-sided relationships. I am not going to be there for you if you are never there for me. I am not going to accept your apologies if there is no meaning behind them. I am not going to expose myself to drama when I could choose to walk away.

You can call me a bitch for finally putting myself first. You can accuse me of overreacting. You can act like I am betraying some code of loyalty by walking away.

You can tell me I should have more faith in people — but I have spent my entire life trusting others. Assuming they are good deep down. And it has gotten me nowhere.

Second chances lead to a repeat in history. Blind trust leads to heartbreak.

I have been nice to people who have treated me like shit. I have given the benefit of the doubt to people who have proven they cannot be relied upon. I have let people remain inside of my world because I loved them, because my heart and my mind couldn’t agree on whether they were worth my time.

Now, I am going to stop listening to my heart because it has screwed me over one too many times. I am going to listen to my gut. I am going to listen to my common sense.

If you give me your kindness and respect, I will still be the nice girl around you. But if you cross me, I am not going to play nice anymore. I am not going to sit in silence while you talk down to me. I am going to fight back. I am going to put you in your place.

Worst of all, I am going to walk away. You will never see my face again. You will never make an apology strong enough to bring me back. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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