You’ve probably heard the rumor sleeping with him won’t convince him to stay, which is complete bullshit.
If he is only looking for sex and you won’t casually let him into your bedroom because you are looking for a serious boyfriend that is when he is going to leave. If you sleep with him under his terms, he just might stay — but he is going to stay for the wrong reasons.
He’ll stay to be your friend with benefits or your fuck buddy or your almost. He’ll stay to watch you undress and leave the second he has a clear path to the door.
Staying doesn’t mean he is going to be around in the way you want him to be around. It doesn’t mean he’ll answer your texts every time you send them. It doesn’t mean he’ll spend the night so he can cuddle with you. It doesn’t mean he will finally realize what a catch you are and return your feelings.
It means that he will pick and choose when to pay attention to you. It means he will only text you when he wants something from you. It means he will ask you to come over at the last second. It means he will make you feel like you matter when you are underneath him and then will forget that you exist the second you’re apart again.
Sleeping with him is not a stepping stone to a relationship. If he admits that is the only thing he wants from you, then believe him. He isn’t trying to protect his heart by keeping you at a distance. He is trying to tell you the truth.
Even though sleeping with him might convince him to stay, sleeping with him won’t convince him to love you. Sleeping with him won’t convince him to respect you. Sleeping with him won’t convince him to commit to you.
If all he’s looking for is someone to fill the other side of the bed, you probably won’t be the only one he’s with. You’ll probably have to share him with other women. And you won’t be able to complain about it, because you agreed to be casual. You agreed to sleep with him. You signed up for the disappointment.
Sleeping with him is not going to convince him to fall for you the way you have already fallen for him. It might buy you some more time with him, but the time won’t be spent lovingly staring into each other’s eyes the way you’re imagining in your head. The moments you spend together might mean something to you, but they will mean nothing to him.
Besides, you don’t really want someone who cares more about what’s underneath your clothes than what’s inside your head. You don’t want to casually sleep with someone you wish you were serious with. It will only end in pain.
You should hold out for someone who likes you for more than your body, someone who wants a real relationship with you even if that means waiting a while to have sex.