Why She Settled For Something Casual With You When She Secretly Wanted Something Real

A girl in a casual relationship
Unsplash /
Jasmine Ornelas

She settled for something casual with you, even though she secretly wanted a serious relationship, because she wanted to be around you. She wanted more of your time. She thought that if you got to know her better, if you learned more about her, then you might change your mind about her. You might decide that you’re ready for a real relationship after all. You might ask her to be your girlfriend. Even though you already made it clear you weren’t interested in committing, she kept telling herself there was a chance you would change your mind once you fell for her.

She settled for something casual with you, even though she secretly wanted a serious relationship, because she enjoyed her nights alone with you. She enjoyed getting intimate with you. She just didn’t enjoy the part that came after. The part when you would leave. The part when you would take forever to text back. The part when she would see you flirting with other girls. The part when she realized you would never love her the way she loved you.

She settled for something casual with you, even though she secretly wanted a serious relationship, because she didn’t want to get greedy. She kept telling herself that being your friend was enough, kissing you was enough, climbing into bed with you was enough. She fooled herself into believing that having any kind of relationship with you was better than losing you completely. She thought that it would hurt less to be your booty call, your backup plan, than to be some stranger you used to text.

She settled for something casual with you, even though she secretly wanted a serious relationship, because she wanted to impress you. She wanted to look like a cool girl. A girl you could imagine keeping around. She was willing to give up what she wanted in order to give you what you wanted, because at the time, she cared more about your feelings than her own.

She settled for something casual with you, even though she secretly wanted a serious relationship, because she couldn’t see her worth back then. She didn’t think anyone would ever want to be her official boyfriend. She thought that an almost relationship or friend with benefits was the best she was ever going to get. She has fallen for so many boys who only wanted her for one thing, which made her believe it was her fault. It made her believe she wasn’t girlfriend material. She didn’t realize that you wanted to stay single for your own reasons. That it had nothing to do with her.

She settled for something casual with you, even though she secretly wanted a serious relationship, because she really fucking liked you. She liked talking to you. She liked looking at you. She liked having you around. She lowered her standards for you, because she couldn’t imagine walking away from you. Because, to her, you were worth the pain. The disappointment. The heartache.

But now, she knows better than that. She knows what she deserves. She knows no one is worth settling for, not even you. TC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

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