As a single girl living New York City with friends that are also all single…these “patterns” occur all too often. I urge you to look for these red flags from the beginning and save your energy and emotions for someone who is going to actually appreciate you and give you the time of day. You are not going to change him…don’t spend the time trying to find out why you can’t or what you did wrong. No one is going to change him but himself. Whether it’s in a year, 2 years, or 5 years–don’t waste your time waiting around to figure out what it’s going to turn into, because it’s not. You two are simply just not a fit for each other. With that being said, here are the signs to pay attention to:
1. He starts bailing on you.
The bullshit excuses start, some of which are the most ridiculous excuses that translate to this: “Sorry can’t come over because i’m jacking off with one hand and using the other to play Call of Duty. Do you think this is illegal?” To give you the brutal truth…this means he just has lost interest and doesn’t really care to spend time with you anymore. He no longer believes he has to impress you. If he wanted to hang out with you…trust me, he would. I was seeing a guy that started bailing on me constantly but still would continuously text me throughout the day just to keep me around. He wanted me around (for the straight hook up factor) but didn’t want to commit to plans. Ladies…drop this dickwad like a fly.
2. He starts to hit you up for the 2am booty call.
Maybe you guys have gone on a few dates, had a great time, and he’s treated you the way he should be. You guys have even had a couple sleepovers. If you start getting these calls/texts at 2am, ABORT MISSION. Do NOT answer him. And don’t be the dipshit who asks, well SideChickSeries, what about if he hits me up at 12am or 1am? NO. He could’ve easily reached out to you at 8pm to accommodate his plans based on what you were doing but he didn’t care to. He most likely didn’t end up finding any other prospects so he is resulting in using you as his backup slampiece.
3. He doesn’t care to be nice to your friends.
My sidechicks, we all know this is a definite deal breaker here. If your friends don’t like him/he isn’t nice to them, then you know it’s game over. Brutal truth: He’s not going out of his way to be nice to your friends because he’s not going out of his way to do anything for you. He doesn’t care about you.
4. He starts to change his attitude on things and complains a lot.
He’s a whiny little miserable bitch. This is the real him coming out, he’s not just having a bad day. He also doesn’t care what you think and doesn’t mind sounding like an arrogant pussy.
5. He starts to not respond to your texts/calls but is in touch via social media.
(Snapchats you, likes your Instagram) On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst, I think we can all agree that when a guy doesn’t respond to our texts but likes our Instagram posts…we want to SCREAM. Guys see a text the second they receive it. Unless he’s too busy joining the Peace Corps saving lives in Cambodia, he has opened your text. It takes 2 seconds to pick up the phone to call you or text you, he’s messing with you.
6. He stops asking you anything substantial about yourself.
Point proven….he’s seeing you for one thing and its not because he thinks you’re “unique” or that “you have pretty eyes.” If he doesn’t care to ask you anything about yourself, he is extremely immature, selfish, and just wants to bone.
7. He doesn’t make time for you.
Make sure you understand the difference between someone who speaks to you on their free time and someone who frees their time to speak to you.
8. He acts like a douche to you in front of his friends.
He wants to show off and will risk hurting your feelings to get a good laugh from his friends–To all of the guys that do this: I’m glad that you being a dick is all that you can come up with right now to be “funny”. HOLD THE PHONE WE’VE GOT A COMEDIAN. My friends think I’m a comedian too when I tell them how you are incapable of lasting for more than 3 minutes in the sack. Thanks for bringing me back to old times in high school when I took Jimmy’s v-card.
I’m not saying that if just one of these things happen then things aren’t going to workout. But if almost all or more than a few of these signs are appearing, I would put it into consideration. Pay attention in the beginning while you are still ahead. Don’t make excuses for him, guys are very straightforward. If they want to be nice, make time for you, and basically NOT piss you off…they will do whatever they can in their power to make you happy and show their appreciation towards you. DO NOT SETTLE.
Now go dap up your best single betch. DAP ME UP FAM.