Getting ‘Haunted’ Is The Newest Dating Trend That’s Ruining Your Love Life (But Here’s What You Can Do About It)

A woman sits at a table with coffee and water, looking down at her phone
Unsplash / Tim Wright

Is dating getting a lot more complicated these days, or is it just me? Or maybe it’s the fact that we’re finally able to put words to the confusing dating phenomena we’re experiencing, which sure makes it feel like things are getting a lot more confusing for those of us that are still on the market.

You’ve heard of ghosting, you’ve heard of submarining, and you’ve probably heard of obligaswiping, but now you’ve got a new term to memorize: getting “haunted.”

Not to be confused with getting “Marleyed,” which is when your exes start popping up around the holidays, getting haunted is when your ex won’t stop hovering around your life, whether or not you want them to.

Have you ever noticed your ex shows up a lot at your favorite coffee shops, at your workplace, in your neighborhood in general? Maybe it seems like they go out of their way to run into you. It can even manifest virtually through social media, through likes, views, and comments. That’s right — that ex who won’t stop liking your Instas? He’s totally haunting you.

According to Australian sex expert Nikki Goldstein, it’s perfectly normal to get a little weirded out if you’re getting haunted by an ex:

“But haunting is as if you’re taunting them, saying ‘yeah I can still see what you’re doing.’ It’s being more active and liking and commenting on their photos.”

Basically, it’s all about power dynamics, because your ex wants to show that even if they aren’t physically present in your life anymore, they’re still there, watching your every move. And really, who has time for that?

So how can you avoid getting haunted? Perhaps the best way is to just block your exes. You may not be able to control what they do irl, but you can definitely control what they can see online and how they virtually communicate with you. It may seem a little extreme, but hey — better safe than sorry. TC mark

Callie Byrnes

Callie is a professional Thought Catalog blogger by day and an amateur Tumblr blogger by night.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather
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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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