Healing is such a complex process. I truly believe that the stages of mending are confusing, perplexing and disoriented. From someone who is in the process of healing and overcoming trauma herself, I will only write what my healing process has been like. Stranger to stranger, I hope my story of healing gets to the right person and at the proper time. I only desire that my words can touch a broken heart, a grieving soul, or an emotionally battered individual.
First and foremost, if you are hurting, internally, I am so very sorry. I may be half a country away from you, a world a way, or I may be your next door neighbor. Regardless to distance, I want to sincerely apologize to you. I know, it is so very hard to accept an acknowledgment from a stranger whom you have no emotional ties to, but I want my words in this article to hopefully justify my apology. I want you to fully understand that we are affiliated in a distorted way, we are healing together, as one. We are a unity of strangers who have encompassed an array of painful events and as human beings, we need to recognize the importance of the healing process, it is so very vital.
Healing is a process that no one but ourselves can truly interpret. Healing is uniquely different for each and everyone of us. It is a procedure that ultimately takes courage, bravery and fearlessness, but I also believe that there are people who are not quite ready to begin the process of mending. When our hearts have been destroyed and shattered into a thousand different pieces, it is okay if you are not quite ready to get on your knees, risk the glass cutting into your hands and knees as you are trying to find each and every piece of your shattered heart on that hardwood floor. Not being ready is not a sign weakness or failure. It does not make you more less of an individual, nor does it show the lack of strength you actually possess. In fact, it just means you are not ready. Again, that is completely okay. You are okay.
Our culture expects us to heal in a rapid manner. We are known to put a time cap on healing. However, I have to disagree with those who think that healing consists of a procedure that we go through in that matter of fourteen days. Unfortunately, our culture is so fast to expect a fast recovery and this expectation comes from a society that cannot promise you that it will be easy, swift, and an uncomplicated undertaking. I would be being dishonest with you if I were to tell you that the process of healing is effortless and simple. Mending is far from that. It will be challenging but to heal, you need to be absolutely ready. You have to be mindful that healing is a lifelong process and it is something that should be done with great gentleness, sensitivity and patience.
In regards to my own healing process, I have been enlightened with many useful truths that I want to share with you. First and foremost, treat your emotions with tenderness. Handle the pain that accompanies your feelings with care and compassion and do not neglect them, whether they are inflamed or not. Remember that your feelings are only feelings, only if you can breathe them in and exhale them back out. Remember, do not just inhale, you must exhale as well. It takes patience and practice, and remember, take your time.
You will have bad days. You will find comfort in your dark bedroom and you will yearn to be disconnected from the outside world. You will shamelessly cry and and share your emotions with your now soaking sheets, and you will be blinded by any sight of sunlight, but you are mourning and sleeping off your pain is a side effect of recovery.
Healing posses ultimate strength, it takes the utmost courage to discern that life is in fact a little too substantial at times and as humans, we can only sustain so much weight on our shoulders for an extent of time before our knees give out and we fall flat on our face. When you are absolutely ready to step into the lifelong process of mending, remember that for everyday you fearlessly face life’s troubles straight in the face, you are gaining an ounce of strength. And for those of you who are not yet inclined to begin the healing process, that is fair enough. However, the first step is by far the most demanding step you will ever take, in whatever circumstance you find yourself in.
Nevertheless, when you choose to make that decision, I can only promise you that it will be the best possible choice of action you have chosen to make. When you are ready to finally get on your knees, risk the pain of the shattered glass cutting your hands and knees as you search for all the pieces that will partially mend your broken heart back together, you have finally conquered the most hardest step of them all.
Regardless, I am proud of you.