Our breakup still feels fresh. As my first love, you brought me many firsts, many memories and countless experiences. You also gave me my first real encounter with pain, with loss and with heartbreak. We had an extremely loving relationship and somewhere along the road, we began sharing a Netflix account.
For the most part that meant that you paid the $7.99 a month, and I reaped the benefits. You joked with me, asking how someone can watch an entire season of Friends in two days and forcing me to stop watching Breaking Bad because you needed to catch up.
And then you broke up with me. Using the Netflix account became a reminder of our lost relationship. Seeing your name on the home page broke my heart all over again, and the recommendations provoked tears as I thought how much you would like that movie or that TV show. I realized I could get my own account and pay the $7.99 myself but instead, I am still using your Netflix account and this is why.
Secretly, I am hoping you will see that I am still watching “our” shows and therefore, think of me. (However – this is a double-edged sword because I in tern have to see what you are watching and this sparks memories of you, both wanted and unwanted)
And using the account does bring back good memories. I can recall countless nights of the two of us taking turns deciding what to watch while we eat pizza and cuddle. As cliché as it is, many of my fondest memories are on these simple nights where we just enjoyed each others company.
Alternatively, on days when I feel anger towards you, I’m hoping that Netflix won’t let you watch because your account is already in use. Is this immature? Yes. Am I still going to do it? Definitely.
You haven’t asked me to stop. In the few months it’s been since you decided to break things off, you haven’t told me to knock it off which may mean a) you don’t care enough or b) you feel bad about what you did and you’ll continue to let me use it…(until you get a new girlfriend and have to explain awkwardly why it says you’ve recently watched The Mindy Project and all seasons of Sex and the City)
And finally, because YOU broke MY heart I will continue to reap the benefits of your $7.99 each month.