You know that feeling, that moment when you look back into your past relationships and you’re like, “Wow. I can’t believe I was with her!”?
Have you ever felt like you were dating the wrong person in your life? Time wasted huh?
I’ve thought of that many times before about my exes. And I’m sure they must feel the same way. It’s like we looked for each other for the wrong reasons right from the start.
That’s the power of hindsight. It makes you wonder why you do stupid shit in the past. It makes you cringe, laugh and make that face when you take a hard shit. It’s bad. And the thing is, the signs back then were always so obvious. But you mostly stuck to it because you were in love, or so you told yourself.
Time to take that obviousness seriously.
1. They swear at you openly
Happened to me before. It wasn’t like we had this repertoire going on where we could swear at each other for fun. It was done out of irritation, frustration, anger and dare I say, pure hate. A girlfriend once told me to fuck off after I asked a simple question.
If your partner does that to you as and when they like, it means they don’t respect you. They don’t give a shit about you and how you feel. Time to rethink that relationship because nobody deserves to be put down like that.
2. They make you wait
I personally hate it when people are never on time. It’s pathetic how it’s acceptable in this day and age. Showing up late on the first date? That’s messed up!
If your partner consistently makes you wait for an ungodly amount of time and they don’t even apologize for it, then it just goes to show they don’t respect your time. It also means they don’t even respect themselves because they can’t respect time. Dump them! Waiting around in a relationship is just a waste. You’re not a dog.
3. They’re always, obviously lying
It doesn’t matter if you have hard proof that they’re lying or not. If you constantly have the feeling that they’re making shit up to get their way, then they already failed as faithful partners for making you feel that way.
Why should you ever be a relationship where you always have to be suspicious, only to want to shove that suspicion aside because you don’t want to believe otherwise? The onus is on you then. Don’t let both your partner’s and your insecurities get the better of you all.
4. They break promises and then make up bullshit to justify everything
Honestly, if somebody doesn’t know the importance of keeping a promise, that person isn’t even worthy to be your friend.
I’ve ever had a conversation that went like this:
Me: “You promise that you wouldn’t ever do that thing.”
5. You’re both fighting every day
Every day? Come on…
There’s a fine line between trying to work through a hard time and fighting every day.
Because you know… every day? Come on…
6. You’re both fighting over innate things
Innate, small, little things that don’t matter in the long run? Come on…
7. You’re constantly cheating on them
For whatever reason you think you’re doing it for, you’re going to have to seriously re-evaluate the whole relationship.
A bad marriage, a crap partner, a lack of excitement, bad timing or whatever don’t cause infidelity. Infidelity causes infidelity. That’s it.
By the way, the keyword here is “constantly.” I believe a couple can work through a bad episode of infidelity (Good people cheat after all.) But if it keeps happening, then there’s a real need to find the seed of unhappiness.
8. They cheat on you
And then, you don’t even dare to face this truth and confront them about it. Worst case, you go into denial.
9. They want to kill your passion
Someone who truly loves you will never try to take away what you love.
If they make you choose blatantly, like, “It’s either me or it’s over”, maybe perhaps then, it should be over.
10. They try very hard to change you
It only means they can’t accept you for who you are and they want to sculpt an image out of you so they can find a reason to love you.
That’s some deep shit going on there. In other words, they lack self-esteem.
11. That being said, you’re trying to find a reason to love
If you’re listing out pros and cons and shit, then you’re missing the entire point that love is a feeling.
If a relationship isn’t making you feel the good stuff, then what else is there?
12. You’re just… pissed off all the damn time!
Scenario #1: You got mad at them over something they did. Okay fine. Work through it. Then feel better.
Scenario #2: You got so mad that you’re thinking of calling it quits. This is still normal. Call it quits or try to work it out.
Scenario #3: You are just so mad all the time…
When you think of your partner, you automatically feel angry and upset. You equate him or her to everything that annoys the fuck out of you. Like for example, they remind you of your abusive boss, whose face you want to bash badly.
You just thought of punching your partner. This happened to me before. A girlfriend back then said something really mean that turned her face into a really ugly one, like even The Swamp Thing looked better. I could not forget how ugly she became and how upset I was.
You’re dating the wrong person if you’re not even happy yourself.
13. Your friends
Your friends are the signs. Their third-party perspective provides insights you cannot ever see clearly.
There is a fine line though. You know best since you’re the one in the relationship. But you could be blinded by your own feelings, so you don’t listen to your friends.
What I think is, if one or a few friends tell you something, perhaps you can brush it aside. But if fucking twenty friends are adamant on the fact that your relationship is just bad, it’s time to listen.
14. You’re constantly thinking if the grass is greener on the other side
Trust me. I’ve been there. It led to infidelity.
You know you’re with the right one when you don’t ever care how green the other side is. You just love your own grass. Fuck the other grass.
15. You can’t immediately answer, “Yes” when asked if you’re happy
Sorry, but answers like, “Maybe…”, “Yes, but…”, “I’m not sure right now” and “I would be if she changes…” don’t cut it. That’s the blunt truth that you’re dating the wrong person.
Love is a goddamn feeling that’s going to make you shout a resounding yes all the time.
16. You personally hate what you’ve become because of the changes you made
I get it. A little compromise here and there comes around.
But one day if you find yourself unhappy with all the changes you made in yourself, then I think you’re dating the wrong person. Your partner should elevate your intrinsic awesomeness so that you can say, “I’ve truly become a better person.”
Not the other way around.
Guys, ever felt like you became less of a man? I have.
17. When a single element is taken away, you aren’t sure if you still want to be with them
For a prominent example, let’s use money.
Take away money. Do you still want to be with him or her? If you answered no, then you don’t love them. While money is important, to equate a person’s worth to one mere thing means you don’t look into their heart. If you care not to look into their heart, then really, is that love?
Damn it. Again! Love is a feeling! Not some circumstantial bullshit where one single element works as the entire foundation!
18. You beat them. Or they beat you
Spousal abuse is not cool. We all know that.
Whoever in the relationship has gone to the extent of being physical, then you’re absolutely not with the right person.
Anything physical, big or small means they’re out to humiliate you; to bully you.
19. They only bring negative vibes and you wish that they wouldn’t show up
Ever had your partner come in the room and they bitch up the whole place? It’s like you were happily doing your own thing and then all that happiness disappears immediately because they start to find some problem with whatever. Then you two fight.
Ever find yourself jumping for joy when they have to be somewhere else and you’re like, “Yes! It’s going to be a good day!”?
If any of the above happens way too much, you’re dating the wrong person.