In today’s world, I think most of us miss the point when it comes to dissecting toxic people.
We view them as toxic based on the big things they do, like the bully who physically beats up a kid in the hallway. Then we go on and on about the topic of how bullies are actually deeply insecure and unhappy people.
That is too easy. What if though, we can detect the smaller, subtle signs earlier?
We can. Insecure and unhappy people function a certain way and they’re practically screaming it to the entire world because they crave attention so much.
Check out these things they like to do.
How to let the entire world know that you’re an insecure and unhappy person in 9 easy steps.
1. Your first reaction should be to always complain just because you can
And indeed, many people adhere to this. Why? Because they can. That’s all they know.
When shit doesn’t go your way in life, it’s natural to want to complain. But to do it every time over everything? That speaks more about yourself more than the problem itself.
Only whiny bitches complain about the problem. Resourceful people would quickly look for the solution instead or simply let it go. (It personally grinds my gears when dudes complain about the little things like little boys isn’t of manning the fuck up.)
There’s a difference between letting off some steam and complaining all the damn time. If you partake in the latter, trust me, your friends are tired of hearing of it. You don’t know it only because they’re too polite to let you know.
2. Let others know about how you dislike a minimum of at least five people over a short period of time
In life, you’re bound to run into people you dislike. And in conjunction with the first point, you complain about it to let off some steam. That’s perfectly fine.
But if you do it too often and too fast? It’s going to turn inwards as people around you start to wonder whether you’re the real problem instead.
I remember talking to some girl who seemed to, every couple of days, find someone to complain about or hate on. At first, it seemed normal. After a while, I started to think, “Wow, you seem to hate a lot of people for different reasons. Are they truly as fucked up as you claimed? Or are you just antagonizing them?”
And yeah, it was very tiring. Imagine picking up the phone to hear from a person whine non-stop.
Honestly, it’s only logical to wonder who is the one with the real problem. It’s kind of like math:
If Person A comes into contact with five people and hates all of them for different reasons, you ought to truly dig deeper and wonder if said five people all dislike Person A.
Five people disliking one person versus one person disliking all of them. Unless Person A is the only adult or the only human among animals or something, it’s not hard to find out who’s the one with the real problem.
3. You must turn angry and upset the minute something doesn’t go your way. No exceptions
Then go ahead and complain about it as per your self-defence mechanism of sorts.
Look, not everything in life goes your way. Life happens and everything fucks up from time to time. That’s just one of the meanings of life itself.
It’s one thing to react strongly and use that energy to make a change. It’s another to simply get upset and allow it to ruin your day entirely.
Unhappy people do that, that’s why they experience more bad days than good ones; more things to complain about. And yes, they see a need to spread that negativity to those around them.
Do you realize a pattern now about how insecure and unhappy people simply love to complain?
4. You must treat customer service staff like absolute crap
This to me is the trophy an insecure and unhappy person shows off.
Sadly, a lot of people have it in their heads that the customer is always right, henceforth, they get to act like dickheads just because they pay a premium.
Straight up, if you see a need to take your frustrations out over another human being, especially when you think status and money allow it, then you’re only truly showing what kind of person you are. Hint: The blunt truth is that you’re not really a good person. Period.
All of us lead different lives, but we’re all equal beings who are going to die eventually. To want to step over others just so that you can feel like you’re ahead is not only a truly terrible thing to do, but shows that you simply don’t care for or respect others.
And only the smart ones will know that that actually equates to not caring or respecting yourself enough to want to grow and make a change.
5. You must take it to social media all the time
When you’re unhappy with something or someone, be sure to post it on social media.
Remember to add in real screenshots of conversations to your long rant for added effect. If you want to make your script rich in nuance and subtlety instead, be extremely passive aggressive and make comments you think no one will understand when really, we do. I always see this shit when somebody breaks up with someone.
Do this very often. Allude to also a minimum of five people in a short period of time. Let everyone of your followers see it. You gotta let them know how insecure and unhappy you are in your daily life! Heck, tag them even!
It truly takes a certain type of person to take it to social media. Oh sure, the rest of us quiet ones are enjoying the drama as we whip out the popcorn, but if you think about it deeply, the people in the limelight have dived in head-first to indulge in the drama as they scream, “Everybody, this is what I think! I don’t care what you really think about it, but please help me share and like so I can shame the other party!”
And like it or not, all of us do care about others think or how they see us. To constantly want to be in the limelight, via social media or not just shows how much self-preservation you lack even if you’re trying to put others down.
6. Never trust or accept your close friends’ honest opinions. Make them take sides instead
Here’s the truth: Your good friends want you to be grow and mature into a better person. They will tell you the truth and reveal your flaws even though it will make you uncomfortable.
Your enablers don’t give a fuck about you as they act like yes men only. And trust me, they will be making use of you.
So what do you do with this information?
If you want to show your friends that you’re insecure and unhappy, do not accept their opinion. Be a coward instead. Hand them an ultimatum that they must take your side otherwise the friendship is over or at the very least, tell them how wrong they are without an objective point of view.
If you want to show your friends that you’re capable of greater things in life, then eat some humble pie, shut up and listen.
7. Show off your achievements by putting others down in a group setting
And more often than not, the achievement is usually something lame, like how this guy I used to hang out with would challenge others to arm wrestling just because he worked out that day. Who the hell wants to arm wrestle at a bar?!
Insecure people need to let others know about what they’ve accomplished just to feel good about themselves.
The secure ones don’t. Even if they do, it’s to inspire and help others.
8. In every story you tell, you must end up the glorious victor who got over ridiculous challenges
I guess this point kind of goes without saying, but I just want to be clear.
After all your complaining, ranting, social media bitching or whatever, you must make it clearly known that you’re always the winner.
Don’t admit your flaws in any parts of the story. Never inject humility. Use flowery words to put yourself on a pedestal. Be so fucking perfect that people would start to think that you’re a god.
Try to dramatize the story too since it’d be hard to disprove you. E.g. A friend once told me while working at a club, he got into a fight every week. He won every fight too, though not once did the rest of us see his knuckles bruised or cut.
Another friend once regaled to me how three girls were fighting over him one particular night and he slept with all of them on the same night, in his room.
It sounds ridiculous, but this bullshit is true everywhere. It boggles my mind to why they’d want to exaggerate or outright lie about such nonsense because the truth usually comes out sooner or later anyway, the bigger truth being that they’re just insecure and unhappy people.
9. Get drunk as fuck and lose control
In case you’ve missed it, insecure and unhappy people don’t have any kind of self-control.
Watch them get drunk then. I assure you, that their innermost thoughts, desires and demons will be unleashed. And since they lack self-preservation, they’d willingly do it in front of many people.
That’s why you see hot, drunk girls passing out on the streets.
That’s why you see drunk dudes going berserk and getting into fights.
And they don’t learn.
That’s why there’s always a designated get-drunk guy in the group who everyone needs to take care of.
10. Lastly, get offended by everything
Nuff said. Don’t forget to nitpick the fine details in whatever it is that made you upset.
Crucial point: Be sure to be offended by the direct solution itself too because somehow, it made you unhappy anyway. E.g. I once heard a friend say, “I didn’t like the way he said he was sorry.” And this was after complaining non-stop about how he didn’t get an apology yet.
Rinse and repeat Steps 1-9 with your offended feelings to get the most results.
Pretty soon, plenty of people would know how insecure and unhappy you are.
You miserable fuck.
Or, you can start acting like an adult.