How People Meet In 2012
Mommy and Daddy met at college. Well, we met while in college. Well, when Daddy was in college and Mommy ran an Etsy store. Mommy and Daddy both liked Party Down on Facebook and Daddy, the Adam Scott fan he was, posted quite a bit on the page. One day while Mommy was standing in line to pay for her frozen yogurt, she was looking at the Party Down page on her iPhone and randomly saw one of Daddy’s comments. She went to his profile and saw a link to his cult-TV show Tumblr and started following him. A few weeks later, Daddy started following Mommy on Tumblr, even though Mommy’s Tumblr was mostly pictures of avocado-based dishes and latte art.
Anyway, Mommy started reblogging some of Daddy’s Tumblr posts, mostly GIFs of Jane Lynch screaming. After three weeks of that, Daddy started following Mommy on Twitter. Mommy reciprocated and they began mentioning each other whenever Adam or Jane had a particularly good line on Parks And Recreation or Glee, respectively. They say common interests are the backbone of any relationship.
Their online friendship moved to the next level when Daddy finally friend requested Mommy on Facebook. Mommy accepted and saw that Daddy lived in the same town as Mommy! He was a freshman at the college in Mommy’s town. She was excited that he could be boyfriend potential and he was excited she had hook-up potential. She began to stalk him on Facebook and saw that he joined the Miyazaki film festival event on Facebook.
The following weekend, both Mommy and Daddy were at the film fest. Mommy purposely brought one of their mutual Facebook friends along with the hopes that he could introduce her to Daddy. The plan worked and Mommy, Daddy, and their mutual friend all watched Ponyo together. Daddy went into the bathroom to text another girl a picture of his dick, but love is a roller coaster and you need to accept the person as he is.
When the film was over they all went to a party at Daddy’s friend’s house. Mommy read the hostess’ fashion blog, so she had no hesitation in going. Mommy was underage and had a few too many PBRs and next thing she knew, her and Daddy were in the backseat of his Prius, and, well, you’ll learn about that when you’re older.
After that night, Mommy was so excited she started Pinning wedding ideas. Mommy and Daddy would text occasionally, but nothing really happened. They would hook up every once in a while, but they, well, Daddy, didn’t want to put labels on anything. They were friends with benefits for a few more years until Daddy got a job and his friends started getting married. Mommy thinks Daddy was also horny and his self-esteem was pretty low after he didn’t get a promotion at the Apple Store. Once that happened, he and Mommy started dating and have been in love since. Well, sometimes he would text other girls while he was in bed with Mommy, but she was sick of just hooking up with guys and Daddy was a good guy in general. I mean, he would watch Girls with Mommy and listen to her talk about how much it mirrored her life. What a good guy, right? Want to see Instagram pictures of what Mommy ate on their first date?
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THE NSA IS WATCHING YOU.
Give thanks, love more, and smile often.
The sex that most people are doing now is actually just an invention of the patriarchy. It’s rape.
Do good things come to those who wait? Or do good things come to those who go out and get them?