Breakups are hard and dealing with the feelings and emotions afterword are even harder.
Dealing with the aftermath of losing a partner can be intense, it can leave you with feelings of loneliness, isolation, sadness, anger, and any emotion imaginable. They can be difficult not only because of the feelings stated above, but because they can bring up other undealt with issues, and make small problems seem like large problems. That being said, breakups can be a moment for self-reflection and a time in which real change can be made. The work is necessary, but can be difficult. Having to look at yourself and your behaviors in the mirror is hard. So, Here are my four tips for dealing with the aftermath. I do think these tips can be applied to situations outside of the breakup of a romantic relationship.
When it comes to finding your peace, self-forgiveness is one of the biggest and most important things, but I think it is a thing that people don’t think about or consider when it comes to finding their peace. It’s always said that healing is forgiving those who hurt you, but I think part of it is also forgiving yourself. Forgiving yourself for the role that you played, forgiving yourself for your reactions (if you didn’t like it), simply just forgiving yourself for whatever it is you need to forgive yourself for. This self-forgiveness is an important first step to finding your peace.
Find a self-care task or routine. This doesn’t have to fit the stereotype of bubble baths or wine either or exercise routines (but it’s okay if it does.) It’s whatever task makes you feel better and allows for the personal reflection and work needed to achieve self-forgiveness. Two important steps when it comes to finding your peace.
Be aware of self-harm
Be aware of the ways in which you may be self-harming yourself. Now this may not always look like the typical modes of self-harm with things like cutting or some other form of physical self-abuse, it is important to be aware of the ways in which you could be mentally self-harming yourself, in blocking yourself from achieving your peace. This can include a constant stream of thoughts like “I am not good enough or Nobody loves me.”
Friends are important to you finding your peace. Especially after a bad situation, but at the end of the day, it takes the right type of friends. Not just the friends who will tell you that someone sucks and never deserved you, but the friends who will also listen to you talk, tell stories and reminisce about the person who wronged your or that you used to love. It’s important to have the friends who will acknowledge these things because while the person or the situation sucks now, they didn’t always suck, and you liked them at one point.