I have been through my fair share of breakups as well as listening to countless breakup stories over endless tubs of Ben & Jerry’s. Through all that, I realized that more often than not, men tend to be pretty clueless and cruel when it comes to breaking up with their significant other. In order to save my fellow women from further emotional pain, here is a list that I have compiled (in no particular order) on ways I think a guy should never end a relationship with a girl.
1. Don’t lead her on.
So you are already set on breaking up with her. Don’t make it harder for her by making her believe that you still love her with all your heart. Don’t buy her stuffs. Don’t pay for her meals. Don’t try to be the perfect boyfriend. It does not make things easier for the girl. You are not doing damage control. You are being an asshole.
2. Don’t go on a holiday together and then proceed to breakup with her.
You have decided that you do not love her anymore. The worst thing you can do to your almost-ex-girlfriend is to bring her on a holiday to “rekindle” whatever flame that the both of you have only to breakup with her in a foreign land where she has no friends, no support – NOTHING; especially when said holiday destination is number one on her wish list.
3. Don’t breakup with her in front of your friends, on foreign land.
What kind of person would do that to someone that he loves, or in this case, loved? Just imagine the embarrassment that you will feel if you got caught with your trousers down; now multiply that by 20 or even 100 times. That is the amount of embarrassment a woman would feel if you broke up with her in front of your friends. She would have to act like she is perfectly fine, calm and collected, when deep down inside, her heart is slowly shattering into a million different pieces. To top things off, she won’t be able to tell a soul about it to ease her pain because a) she is with YOUR friends; and b) she is in a foreign land, surrounded with YOUR friends.
4. Don’t have sex with her and then breakup.
A woman is willing to give up just about anything for the man that she loves, literally ANYTHING. When she makes love to you, you better believe that she means it. So men, even if you don’t love your girlfriend anymore, at least have the decency to control your member and refrain from having sex with her and then afterwards tell her that you do not love her anymore. You are a sorry excuse for a man and she deserves someone better than you.
5. Be honest with her about things – DON’T beat around the bush.
If you don’t love her anymore, then be honest about it. It is not an easy feat but breaking up has never been easy now, has it? Don’t drag the relationship on for six months, trying to be normal, only to tell her that you have lost feelings for her a long time ago. Once you realize that your feelings for her have diminished, talk to her about it. Don’t make up excuses like “You were busy and I did not want to disturb you”. If she really cares about this relationship, she WILL make time for you. She deserves to know what is going on at your end too. It is a two-way relationship, after all.
6. Don’t introduce her to family friends.
You already know that you are going to breakup with her. Don’t plan lunch dates with your mother’s friends or anyone significant in your life. She will take it as a sign that everything is going well with the both of you and feel secure. So the moment you drop the b-bomb, she would be completely clueless, disoriented and vulnerable.
7. Don’t go on breaks.
You either BREAK UP or you don’t. Breaks are not only a waste of time but they usually end with a breakup anyway. So stop wasting time and effort and either choose to stay together or just breakup. If you love her enough, you would stay and try your best to patch things up.
8. Stop contacting her.
So, the both of you have just recently already broken up. You text her only when you need emotional support. You call her when you feel lonely. You tell her your problems and when she responds with a long ass-ed text, trying to lift your spirits, you don’t bother replying. So, is she your emotional booty call now? Does it make you feel like a man? Are you happy with what you have done? Just save her the additional pain and leave her alone. By doing so, you are actually doing her a very big favor.
9. Don’t tell her the relationship is lackluster and disappear.
Do not lie in bed with your girlfriend, hold her and tell her that you think the relationship lacks luster, and then proceed on a two weeks hiatus to Fiji, where you refuse to contact her to tell her that you are safe and sound just because you wanted some time away from her to think things through. First of all, she deserves to know that you are safe; and secondly, the both of you have been together for more than two years! Of course the relationship is bound to lose the spark that it had at the very beginning.
10. Don’t tell her that you are only attracted to her looks.
No matter how drunk or high you may be, these words, once uttered, can never be taken back. They will scar her for the rest of her life. She would think of herself as an empty shell, a dumb blonde that you only loved for her good looks. It is one thing to break a woman’s heart but another to completely shatter her self-esteem. You are a sorry excuse for a man and you should be castrated.