Let’s talk about rejection.
Did you not make the varsity football team? Never heard from the guy you slept with three days ago? How about the job interview that you thought you had aced but never received a call back.
Rejection comes in all forms, shapes and sizes. It is the overwhelming feeling of unworthiness, embarrassment and shame. It is the growing pit in your stomach and aching hole of defeat. It torments you with self-loathing and a piecing pang of psychological inadequacy. It keeps you up at night, tossing and turning with unanswered questions and a deeper disappointment in yourself.
No one wants to discuss rejection, except everyone experiences it. No one wants to admit that they fucked up or weren’t “quite good enough” for the team, raise, boyfriend, it goes on and on. No one wants to look in the mirror and see the same reflection. Broken. Hopeless and a little bit less confident then you were before- a little less optimistic and a bit more alone.
Dating back to evolutionary times, humans were programed to evolve and survive based on rejection. In our hunter and gatherer past, we were ostracized, sized up and down and many didn’t make the cut. We felt the social pain of not belonging. The anger of feeling undeserving and the devastating blow to our self- esteem.
Rejection doesn’t respond to reasoning and rational. It doesn’t puncture the skin or create superficial wounds. It elicits the worst emotional discomfort under the skin, admitting you weren’t enough. The thumbs down from a teammate or cold shoulder from a friend. An unanswered text message or elimination of employment. It’s embarrassing. It’s lonely. It’s life.
There is no cure. You can read self-help novels, put positive affirmations on your mirror or seek guidance from friends and family. It helps, but there is no antidote. In world full of instant gratification and quick fixes rejection just can’t be treated.
So instead of feeding into the bullshit idea, we are all perfect and no one can do us harm- feel the fucking pain. Let it hurt you. Let it bring you to tears and make you uncomfortable in the most vulnerable of ways. You are only human and rejection is natural. It doesn’t make it hurt any less. It doesn’t change the facts. It something to embrace and not fear.
At the end of the day, you were rejected. It sucked. But these few things haven’t changed…
You are beautiful.
You are special.
You are the only person in this world that is you.
So fuck the haters, do you. Rejection is way too ordinary.
And you my friend, are far from ordinary.