I know it’s been a rough couple of days, weeks, months or even years, but see you’re still here! You have made it this far, and that’s really something! Amidst all the crap that’s been happening around, you are continuously surviving; you are not the same person as you were before, you are getting stronger and stronger each day! You have to give yourself credit for that.
I know how hard it is to fight a battle where your opponent is your own self, I completely understand how everyday feels like a surviving game, it’s like you’re alive but you’re not actually living; like you’re on a free fall, barely waiting for the time you hit rock bottom, or that you’ve already hit rock bottom but you just felt NUMB. Yes, that feeling of numbness, it’s when the pain is too much that you just felt, indifferent.
I know there are times that you feel like you are worthless and that no one would actually care even if you disappear into the face of the earth.
Even talking to your friends or loved ones is pointless because you feel like they might not understand what you are going through, you fear their judgments, so you just keep it all to yourself, you just completely shut down and detach yourself from everyone. There are times like you have this hollow sinking feeling inside your chest and you find it hard to fully function. You start to ask yourself that maybe its karma biting your sorry ass?
You start to blame yourself, that if not for your wrong choices, your life would not be spiraling down. Sometimes, you just don’t know how to start your day because you feel hopeless. The guilt is gnawing every bit of hope you have within yourself, like you are slowly giving in to that dark force that has been lurking around you for quite a while. Sometimes you just want to escape from everything but you just can’t, it’s like you are trapped in your own version of hell.
I understand that depression is not that easy to overcome, you can’t just will yourself to snap out of it; but remember that you always have control over your emotions.
Feeling better takes time and a lot effort but you’ll get there! You are not alone. Everyone is fighting their own battles; everyone is messed up in their own ways. You might be tired of always hearing that “everything’s going to be ok”, but it will eventually, everything is going to make sense soon enough! You have to believe in it! Don’t give up on life! And most specially don’t give up on yourself!
You have to be patient with yourself, and the will of God. Everyone is a work in progress, I’m not saying it to make you feel better, I’m saying it because it is the truth. Know that you always have a choice, always choose to be better, to do better! Do not do something that will further make the situation even worse.
You are not defined by how many failures you have acquired all throughout your life but from how well you rise up despite all of it. You don’t always have to fight your battles alone, sometimes asking help from other people does not mean that you are weak or you could just simply talk, open up to them, it will help you feel better. Do things that will make you feel good, you can develop a new hobby, exercise, express yourself through writing, arts or even music; channel that negativity into something productive! Do not incarcerate yourself from the world because the more you feed that negative vibe, the more you will suffer. AVOID negative thinking; it will just fuel that depression.
Lastly, always bear in mind that you are loved! You owe it to yourself to take good care of your being: mentally, physically and spiritually. Positive thinking is always the key! So smile and give yourself a pat on the back for reading this!