It’s hard to be a man. As simple as that. We go about life– firmly– trying our best to live up to the exceedingly high standards set for us by the society. Understandably, there’s a lot of pressure.
A little “mistake” here and there, a little digression from “man rules” and our much-talked-about masculinity takes a blow. I have been struggling to be a man from ever since I can remember and one thing I understand too well now is that divulging our feelings lands us into a lot of trouble.
Thus, we tend to keep secrets. But today, women, pay heed, because I’m gonna let you on a few of them:
1. We are not asking for the moon
I agree twenty-first century dating rules are weird. To many of us it might seem as if only the alphas mate with alphas and the rest of the world eats dunk. But, believe me on this one– it’s not what it seems like, at least not from a man’s viewpoint. With all your imperfections, you are perfect for me. You are enough for me. And I am speaking for the vast majority of men. I will tell you, you are beautiful, over and over again, and mean it every single time. You are beautiful. And when you are with me, I won’t even care the moon exists.
2. We cry, too
Yes, believe it. We cry. Not usually in front of everybody. No, that would be weird. But, we cry. We cry in the shower or in the bed in the dead of night or while driving back from work. We cry for the same reasons you cry. We are all human after all. An ugly break-up, unfulfilled dreams, death of a loved one upset us as much as they upset you and, we cry. As simple as that.
3. Bros before hoes
It is a rule of sorts. We love our close male friends. And, by love I mean, we’ll absolutely totally do anything for them. Now, as absurd as it may sound, in the male community, you may potentially upset your bros (close male friends) by choosing to hang with your girlfriend/fling instead of hanging with them at the club or whatever. The bro-philosophy is: chicks come and go, but bros are for life. Now, when a bro is engaged, keeping both parties happy is a really tough job, I sure would agree.
4. We are biologically engineered as flirts
You heard that right, unfortunately. We won’t magically turn into non-flirts as soon as we start dating you. Uh-huh. It’s just how we are built, honey! But I promise I’ll try my best to suppress my urges. But, only this doesn’t give you the right to tag the entire man-race as disloyal or unfaithful. Because believe me when I say, maybe we flirted with that girl at the coffee shop, but if I love you, every morning I get up, the first person that comes to my mind is you.
5. We watch x-rated content
I don’t know if this one is still a secret but, from my experience, I can tell you I have given an (un)pleasant surprise and an almost heart attack to many a decent girl. But, may decent girls stay decent. I’m just a spoilt brat. Also, I am not particularly proud of some of the content I watch, which many an “indecent” girl too might find objectionable. But, what to do. What turns me on turns me on, right?
6. We crave alone time more than you think we do
We love you, you are the one. All that is true. But you know what, we also love ourselves, maybe not as much as we love you (happy?), but still, you know…. Once in a while we really would appreciate if you just let us be, alone and housed in our thoughts. Go party with your friends, do whatever you want. I’ll hear all your stories, I promise I will. But, for now, I am more than content with this dark room, this glass of whisky, and my brooding loneliness. Don’t you worry though, I am fine.
7. We shit
This one is the most important. Yes, we shit. We fart too. And I know you do, too. Okay, glad we had “the talk”. I really don’t understand what the hush-hush is all about when it comes to shitting or farting. I mean, imagine we have recently started dating and we are at the movies. Now, all of a sudden you discover you have an upset stomach and “you need to go”. Now, wouldn’t it be so much more convenient to tell me just that than to let the pressure kill you by the time the movie ends? What do you say?