The depiction of best friends portrayed in the internet seems like someone who stays there even after long periods of absence, someone who bickers and argues all the time with you, someone who takes your side and support you regardless of how bad that decision is going to be, someone who takes an open shot on your disappointment and mistakes and you both can laugh at it, someone who tells you they will be there and come to them whenever you needed them. I don’t disagree with what the internet sees, but the roles are usually much more demanding and rides on the fine line of being overboard or simply insufficient. That silver lining makes it so much more difficult to be the perfect best friend, the kind of person you want to be for your friend, the behavior showing your feelings without being overwhelmingly mushy.
1. Someone who stays there even after long periods of absence.
Personally, a best friend is not someone who you reconnect after absence and speak of everything under the sun to the moon in comforts but someone who has stayed constant and connected regardless of how the wind of time blows. Because if that someone is your acclaimed best buddy, the company of both your presence matters too much to even let loose enough to go without contact through a prolonged period of time. This perhaps come across as clingy but how do you not crave company from someone whom you have crowned as your best friend?
2. Someone who bickers and argues all the time with you.
A best friend is not someone who argues and bickers all the time, sure it is always fun and games but how can a relationship be based solely on disagreement and obstinately shoving each opinion on the other. Shouldn’t it be someone who listens and offers logical reasoning and accepts a more logical explanation instead of insisting their own for the sake of disagreeing in the name of “fun”. Surely taking a jab at each other can mean more than just intentionally rousing up your pal.
3. Someone who takes your side and supports you regardless of how bad that decision is going to be.
Having knowledge of someone that is cemented on your side regardless of any retardation or possible stupidity you had partake in is definitely something everyone craves for. But how is someone that simply supports you to something they already predicts and believe you will suffer then regret call themselves a best friend? It always hurt to see them walk the path towards the darker snares, yes, we have no rights to make their decisions, but at least, after i listen, i have to give it my two cents worth of persuasion before saying the cliché cringe worthy sentence “I’ll support you no matter what you choose.” And that is when my heart breaks when i watch your dissonance in the shadows.
4. Someone who takes an open shot on your disappointment and mistakes and you both can laugh.
As much as it is important to laugh at ourselves, no one likes to hear un-empathetic laughter that sounds awfully like mockery. Especially when the crushing feeling which left you helplessly lost and despondent, you reach out for support, perhaps just some simple comfort that there are still good things like your bestie still stuck around. But if there are none of that then maybe it’s just not good enough. Laughter is essential without a doubt but not in the first moment, but rather when the matter implodes and settles with the realization of stupidity kicks in along with the ecstasy of quality accompaniment by a true friend.
5. Someone who tells you they will be there and come to them whenever you needed them.
We all heard that talk though reassuring, is however cheap by itself. Once you have given your promises to stay by your best friend and always remain as their avid listener, its not the end of the story. It’s not even enough to simply just be there when they call. Its the honourable duty to spot something amiss and ask about it, further than that, it is the responsibility for you to ensure that no matter how severe the matter is, it is sworn to secrecy with absolute zero judgements. That’s right, its not only when your friend approaches but rather you have to make it so that your friend want to approach you, knowing that no detrimental would ever come out of it.
Being someone’s best friend doesn’t mean that you’re the best among the sea of friends and acquaintances but rather you are the one committed in giving your best to allow his/her best to be evident. Its not enough to have words and convenience running the show. It takes much more effort in working your way there and even more sacrifices to earn your rights. Despite the lows and highs, the best friend remains as the constant. There needs to be trust, non-judgmental, security, comforts, care, concern, freedom and love. Maybe it should be simpler but perhaps it won’t do the word ‘best’ justice. I know how much I would give just to save mine from any harms and tribulation. And I could only hope to receive the same for myself.