Honey you made a mistake; you fell in love with a writer. And now be prepared to live forever in the web of her words.

Ah, you see what I did there? “Web of her words” A metaphor. You should get used to these by now – metaphors, similes, allusions, comparisons, and oh so many hyperboles! Remember a writer’s words are her babies, and her memories are her assets, so be prepared, she will use it to her fullest.

Know that when a writer loves you back, she won’t only love you. She will love your soul, and be sure to taste it, bit by bit. So don’t hesitate opening up to her.

Don’t be shy to tell her how you feel; she’ll love it when you share things with her. Describe every detail to her; tell her how you felt at every point as you narrate your story, and I promise you she will listen to every word you say.

Not that she already doesn’t know.

Writers know too much! That’s the problem, they’ll know when you’re lying, when you’re broken, when you’re hiding something, they’ll know the secrets that your veins carry, even the secrets your archived conversations carry, they know everything! Sneaky Sherlocks – Again…you see what I did there?

Alliteration, pft!

Anyway… That’s the thing about writers, they love to empathise. They want to feel what you feel, and place themselves in your shoes. Yes, there will of course be few interruptions as you speak but that’s probably ’cause your weak grammar makes her cringe. I mean who wouldn’t know the difference between “you’re” and “your” or “their” and “there” right? She’ll giggle after she corrects you, ’cause she loves teasing you. She does it quite often doesn’t she? And as time passes you’ll think before you speak, you’ll choose your words correctly, and remember what she said and smile. You obviously don’t want to deal with a grammar Nazi again now, do you?

But what you’ll have to deal with is a lot of drama. I’m not going to lie to you, writers are overly dramatic drama queens at times, living in their own fantasies, and that’s alright. Isn’t it? It should be. You need to handle them with care! That’s hard, I know, so hard it might suffocate you at times, but you’ll make it through. You need to know how to express yourself in order to love her. You need to know that whenever she’s falling apart, or bursting with joy, or raging with anger, she will write. She will not feel complete until she doesn’t put it down to words. Words are what she feeds on, stories are what make her…reality is merely a nightmare! Yes I know, this doesn’t sound sane, but you love a writer, don’t expect this to be sane. You’ll be driven to a point of insanity too.

Which brings me to my next point… Expectations. She will expect a lot from you! It’s going to be insane, I promise you. Writers usually tend to conjure up lifelong stories in their tiny little minds, and are more in love with their stories and their own happy endings. They’re never quite satisfied. And I won’t blame you, no, not at all. Sometimes you will fail to understand why she’s having such unrealistic expectations, and that’s okay, writers usually don’t understand themselves or their thoughts either. It’s just that she pictures things that she hopes would take place, and most of the times they’re not that fancy either. They’re simple things, like travelling the world together, having and apartment together, or going for long walks on the beach to watch the sun set and the horizon blend from pink to blue. That’s all she wants. Is that really too much?

However, you should also know that writers can switch from being hopelessly romantic to being misanthropic.

There are times when all she’ll want to do is curl up in her hammock with a good book and a cup of coffee. Those are the days she’ll want to be away from everyone and everything and live in her own fantasy. Let her. Give her space, she’s a writer, she needs it. For days you’ll have to hear about people and places you’ve never even known of, it’ll take her time, don’t worry. At first it may even take her time to get used to you, and trust you, but that’s all part and parcel of who she is. You will be fortunate enough if she actually falls for you.

It won’t take her much time to fall for you though. She’ll fall in love with the tiniest, simplest things. Like the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you love, or the way you sing to her in your croaky voice. Sometimes she’ll find beauty in the ugliest moments too.

With her words she will paint you, your freckles, your flaws, and every scar that tattoos your body, and she will love you with all her heart.

She will love you for the way you laugh mid kiss, and admire you when you praise your mother, and be a strong man like your father. She will love your habits, and make them hers. Her lungs will be filled with the smoke that burns yours, her coffee will be dark and bitter just likes yours, and when she sleeps, she’ll sleep for longer hours, with her sheets covering her face, just like you do. From your likes to your dislikes, your family and your friends, every detail will she imbed in her mind. Do not be afraid, she isn’t a stalker, she’s just a writer, she likes to explore and find out more.

Exploring is essential for a writer, in every sense. When she falls in love with you she will explore you at first, then your body, your skin, then your taste… And she’ll write about it. Yes be prepared to hear details…intimate details. Don’t be embarrassed, it’s just the way she is.

You’ve already guessed by now, you’ll be one of her characters too. You may not recognise yourself, but you’ll be there in her stories. At times she might even invent a whole new you, because of course replicating you wasn’t enough. She will picture the things you could’ve done, and the words you could’ve said. Very often she’ll get frustrated too, but that’s because she expects to be loved the way she loves, but don’t get me wrong. She’ll always love you for the person you are!

Even when times are rough, she’ll stand by your side. When you choose to ignore her, she’ll choose to write about you. She’ll bleed ink, but she’ll never show you her work if you ask. Why?

Because they’re a piece of her – like she’s poured out her soul and all her emotions into words.

It’s very difficult to express yourself and find the right words. Emotions and words go together for a writer. So remember to use your words correctly, say what you mean and mean what you say. For the words you say will be her gospel and if you walk away from what you’ve said she will remember them and it will break her, and she will keep pondering on the words you’ve said.

She’ll go crazy, wondering why you said it, and if you really meant it. She crams her feelings onto endless blank pages and there’ll be tears and anger. Honestly if you’re not willing to deal with all of that, don’t fall in love with a writer. And if you’ve already fallen in love with her and are thinking of breaking her heart, oh gosh…you’re in for a lot! You will be immortal now, trust me.

When you leave a writer, be prepared to hear a lot about yourself, because she will cry, and break down just like every other girl does, but she will also write. There will be smudged mascara and ink, crumpled tissues and paper but that’s her way of letting go.

She will write about you, and about how you were her beautiful mistake.

She will relive every moment to remind herself of you in every possible way – the first meeting, the first date, the first kiss, the first fight. Then, the last meeting, the last date, the last kiss, the last fight, and finally the heartbreak. As much as it will break her, to write about it all, it will also mend her. She is a warrior, her words are her shield. Don’t be fooled, she’s not afraid of love or you, she’s afraid of running out of words, and thankfully you’ve given her enough to write about.
Someday, hopefully, you’ll come across her work, and you’ll see yourself in it- maybe not entirely, but you’ll be there, hiding in bits and pieces. And you will realise how much she loved you. It’ll take you back to those days when laying in each other’s arms under starry nights skies was all that mattered to her, when your lips intertwining hers was what she believed to have been the best possible thing that happened to her, when she would hold you so tight just for your scent to linger on her and explore the lengths of her skin. And a part of you will break, because you’ll see it’s too late and all you’ll be in that moment is words on a paper.

Again, you made a mistake. You fell in love with a writer. You fell in love with me.