10 Reasons Why Wine Is Better Than Sex
chocolates have settled in your hips and frankly, the romance is less
sickening. It’s time we got a bit honest.
1. Wine doesn’t get you all sweaty and sitting in decidedly uncomfortable positions the way cuddling does.
2. Wine doesn’t mind if we drink it in our granny panties and a big t-shirt. Red, lacy things for what? For who?
3. A glass or two of red wine and we can skip the foreplay.
4. Wine doesn’t look at you expectantly when you say you’re not on your period.
5. Two words: morning breath.
6. You don’t need to shower to have a glass of wine.
7. Wine couldn’t ignore you for the English Premier League even if it
tried.
8. A bottle of wine is more likely to fix the kettle than your boyfriend is.
This side of Christmas, at least.
9. Red wine is good for your heart. Sex could go either way.
10. You can’t have either in public, but you’ll get off maybe with just a
fine if it’s wine.