“Feminist” is a word used these days to describe strong, fearless women with a voice. It sometimes sounds like an insult or a word someone would use to bring someone down, but meh, we women are used to that. Have you not heard phrases like: “You play like a girl” or “Stop crying like a girl”? Typical. We respond to it like we’re disappointed, but not surprised.
Here are five more reasons why it’s hard to survive as a feminist.
1. Men getting their delicate egos bruised.
I don’t blame only men for being petty when women ask for their rights. You can only blame them for half the mess. It’s important to also blame the women who remained quiet and obeyed everything that was expected of them like a dumbstruck animal. Change is always hard to accept—much more if it proves harmful for your existence. And who doesn’t want all the attention to themselves? Because of such women in the past, now if a woman as much as raises a voice for their rights, it’s a big deal. When it shouldn’t be, really. All it should be is logical.
2. Other women encouraging us to keep our mouths shut.
This one really bugs me out. We are so used to being suppressed and keeping it low that now,when we raise our voice one beat over a whisper, it sounds like scream. What I hate the most is how other women ask us to not speak up and just suck it up. If we could do that, if we felt okay with it, we’d never say anything in the first place. But the problem here, Missy, is that WE ARE NOT OKAY ANYMORE.
3. Surviving every day’s failure.
Change is a slow process. A lot of people want change, but who wants to wait? None. Who wants to adapt? None. I’ve heard a lot of women say, when I tell them how important it is to value our existence, that “What’s the point? It’s been like this forever. Nothing has changed until now, what makes you think it will?” Well, sister, first of all, changing your own mind WILL. Start a revolution—if not with society, in your own damn self. Yes, we are still miles away from the milestone. Yes, not much has really changed, but what is important is the fact that something has. There’s hope. It is happening. And if we don’t let the thought of “It’s been like this since forever” poison us; we can change it. Start a revolution. Start it in yourself.
4. “Not all men are like that.”
Wow, really?! You’re kidding!
Forgive me my sarcasm, but honestly, you really think that we see every men through the same lens? WE KNOW. We know not all men are sexist, not all men are rapists, not all men steal opportunities away from women, not all men harass women. But have you ever thought that maybe just ENOUGH men are that way that we need an open discussion on it? We understand that when we say men act certain ways, you might feel insulted because you’re not a man as such and you’re not like the status quo. But rather than derail from the conversation and feeling offended, JUST LISTEN. When you say “not all men,” it invalidates our claim of gender inequality and our experience in a patriarchal society that has continued for generations.
So instead of proving you’re not such a man, try to help us get rid of the mark most men have inked on your title.
5. “It’s not our fault. We were raised this way.”
Story time! One day, me and my male friend were discussing relationships where he said that men lack emotions because since the dawn of history, men had to go on wars and fight for their family and their existence. He said that they didn’t have room for emotions, and that’s why most generations of men are emotionless jerks.
I’m sorry, but as much as psychologically or historically this fact must prove true, I do not believe it. Sure, men had to go on wars. Then also understand that women had to live their whole lives in trauma. And I would love to know what kind of poison or brain surgery would kill this idea in men’s brains that they are “supposed” to be like this. No, you are not. And no, we are not supposed to accept your arrogance. Just because it has been like this does not mean it has to continue. I’m sorry that ancient men didn’t hold room for emotions back then, and you don’t have to, either. What you have to make room for is LOGIC.