I Like You, But I’m Done Trying For Something More

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Rowan Chestnut / Unsplash

I probably wrote this letter long before you even noticed that a certain “me” exists. Or maybe have had this long enough in my mind while contemplating if I should send this or not. If you’re reading this now then probably this got posted somewhere but I guess you’ll never know it was meant for you.

I like you.

There are no other words or sentences that can give justice to that. I liked you since the day my eyes laid on you or ever since the day I heard you laugh or that very moment you made me see through you. Right now all that I can think of is you in an open field—smiling brightly like the sun up the sky above you. The radiant sunshine kissing your skin.

That was the moment I admitted to myself that I like you.

Over the course of years knowing you, I bet you didn’t even pay attention to me. I’ve been a constant follower of your posts on your social media accounts, silently celebrating your ups with you and virtually comforting you through your downs. You have always been my stress-reliever. My ultimate joy giver. There is just something about the way you smile that makes my heart giddy for some reason; like how sunshine suddenly passes through a dark and stormy cloud. Years have passed, you still smile the same. You still have the same effect on me without even knowing it.

I’ve liked you long enough for others to call it more than just a crush. I admire you for loving your family more than yourself. I admire you for your courage of going through everyday making it this far. I admire you for being that friend that someone can keep. I admire you for being you and all that you will be.

I don’t really flirt—it’s not just really my thing. But when I do, I sound like a creep. You know, that one kind of weird that someone can misunderstand. Maybe that’s one reason I scared you away and lost that one opportunity to know you better and establish that certain connection between us. I’m really sorry for that. I just want to talk to you and make you smile. I’m sorry for doing otherwise.

Maybe after everything, you should just remain as my crush. My inspiration. My wonderwall. It’s like seeing a glimpse of you while knowing there’s no way I can ever reach you.

Maybe I should stop wondering about the “What ifs” in my head because those questions destroy the true meaning of regret. How come you regret something that never happened, anyway?

Maybe I should just go on like how I always do because no matter how hard I try, life is never going to be fair and that’s both the beauty and the pain of it.

Maybe risks were invented for those who don’t know how painful it is to fail and I’m now done taking them. I’m not giving up though; that’ll be another story. I’m just taking a rest—a necessary one.

I like you, yes. Up until now I don’t have any idea when it’s going to stop or probably just never. I like you, but I’m done trying. I like you, and if by any miracle, you realized you like me too, I’m right where you last heard of me. TC mark

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