I feel you.
I feel every inch of that heart wrenching pain that you’re feeling right now. Or those questions flooding your mind at this very moment. Those silent tears that you cry yourself to sleep. You’ve been crying a lot until your eyes get puffy enough to be noticed. It has been weeks of sleepless nights and loss of appetite. You’ve been having unexpected episodes and withdrawals. You have been carrying all this weight inside your chest and yet you smile like nothing happened.
We may have had different stories and that you may think that the pain you are going through right now isn’t even half of what I’ve been through. But let me tell you this, it doesn’t matter. Because pain is still pain. And for what it’s worth, it still demands to be felt.
And it hurts.
That feeling of not being able to get up in the morning just because you keep on remembering everything. Or that feeling of numbness and you don’t even know what to feel. You just lie down there contemplating every question inside your head.
Am I not enough?
Am I that easy to leave behind?
Do I have a LED sign on my forehead that says I’m stupid?
Am I that hard to love?
We all have these puzzles scattered everywhere and it feels like every answer to those questions is a part of you that you will never get back.
But you will get better. Believe me, eventually you will. When you learn to accept that broken hearts are also a part of life that we all go through. That it is necessary for us to get hurt for us to know the true meaning of love. When you learn to accept that the past relationships you had will be the reasons you will need someday to understand why it never worked out. To know what you’re made of and most especially, to know your worth as a person.
That acceptance is the only closure you need and it comes with forgiveness. To forgive them and to forgive yourself.
So, let it be.
Let it all out.
Scream your pain out and let the world absorb it; for you don’t have to suffer alone just because some jerk made you hurt like this. Remember that it’s okay not to be okay sometimes because nothing in this world is perfect, and so are we. We are all just humans perfectly sewn along with our flaws and if anything, a man should never leave a woman just because they’ve experienced the entirety of it.
Cry it all out until you can no longer shed a tear.
But, after all the grief and lamenting, rise. Rise above those who’ve hurt you. Stand tall and hold your chin up high. Pick up your fallen crown and wear a beautiful smile.
Show them what they lost. Show them what they took for granted; not for them to regret losing you but for you to finally realize you deserve more than what you are chasing for.
And when that time comes, I hope you’ll find the strength to love yet again. That no matter how much pain you’ve been through, you won’t stop yourself from loving until you find that person that is already worth the chance and the pain.
Love because you are capable of doing so. Love until people wonder why and how to get a heart like yours.