The story is as old as time – boy meets girl, they fall in love, start a family, and live happily ever after. A story I’m certain our grandparents were apart of and maybe our parents had their own chapter as well.
Things have changed, however, and not in the favor of intimacy. Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Hot or Not, and similar sites have helped to destroy the innocence of pure intimacy. You can be anyone behind the screen of your phone, and the problem is we are often a different person than who we actually are, which leads to an awkward face-to-face meeting.
Messaging someone and saying “you’re beautiful” and receiving a heart-eyed emoji in response ails in comparison to the unalloyed emotion expressed in a persons mind, body, and soul when those words go from your mouth straight to their heart.
I’m close with many people who use these sites and that’s fine. I refuse to judge anyone for using these apps because the choice is theirs, and not everyone wants an old-fashioned, long-term relationship. I do, however, grow extremely impatient with the people who complain about the guy or girl who won’t get serious after their first few Tinder-dates. Of course there is success stories, but let’s face it, we all use tinder for on-demand affection. We’re only human and we are using the resources at hand to fill our wants and needs as we always have – even if its mindless sex.
If you are seeking LOVE – the kind of love our grandparents found, the kind of love that is felt in the most precious and intimate parts of our hearts then you need to put yourself in real-life situations. To meet someone in a random place at a random time is the basis for every sappy love story. Cinderella didn’t swipe right and meet Prince Charming now did she?
This is no easy task and if you are shy or even remotely self-conscious then it may seem almost impossible. Stepping out of your comfort zone is essential. You’ll have to do things you said you would never do, talk to people you don’t know, and just let what is going to happen, happen. Some things are out of our control, and love is one of those things. Our hearts feel what they feel and they are as stubborn as stubborn can be. Many people are scared to love because as beautiful as it is, it can all come crashing down and knock you down further then you’ve ever been.
If you are single and in your twenties then these are the “glory years” everyone talks about. Make spur of the moment decisions, talk to the girl you think you have no chance with, take risks, and don’t be afraid to fail.
Love is a freight train, and when it is in motion there is no force that can stop it. It will be effortless; the want for each other will be intoxicating, consuming, and powerful. Don’t wonder if he or she is the one; that question will answer itself. Just enjoy all of the beautiful things this loving relationship is giving you. After all, you finally have what you’ve been yearning for don’t you? There is no feeling like the feeling of love, and if that is what you seek then stray far from mindless app hook-ups and go find your Cinderella or Prince Charming.