1. The person you were arrested with
This person may be a friend you were arrested with for doing the same illegal thing, or they may be the person you were fighting with. Maybe the officer already arrested someone and picked you up on the way or vice versa. This person though is usually the first inmate you come into contact with, and if they are a first time offender with you, they will be a little scared. If they aren’t a first timer, they may be calm or angry they were picked up again.
2. The person in the holding cell
Once brought in you will be searched, and depending on the jail setup, you may see these people as soon as you are done being searched. Or maybe you will hear them before you are searched. These inmates have not cooperated with anyone inside the jail or have simply been causing some kind of problem. They will either be banging on the door of the cell to get your attention (there are very few jails with bars, they are usually heavy doors with large Plexiglas windows,) they will be shouting obscenities as they peer at you through the window, or they will be sleeping off their anger/drunkenness. Just know that whatever they did, you don’t want to do.
3. The phone hog
When you’re in jail, there will inevitably be not enough phones for you and the other inmates to accommodate all the inmates and you will have to wait to use the phone. And you will wait. And wait some more because the other inmates are making call after call to whoever will answer and their needs are coming before yours. They will stay on the phone the entire time you are in this room, and sometimes they will occupy two phones at once, carrying on two conversations at the same time. You think they may have worked at a call center or have been stock brokers at one point in time.
4. The smelly homeless person
Jails are full of homeless people who are being arrested on criminal trespassing charges because they fell asleep on some private property since, you know, homeless. That also means these people have not showered for so long they resemble Pigpen from Charlie Brown. Dirt on their faces, leaves in their hair, the occasional body fungus. The worst part though is they usually don’t own shoes so they can share those sticky, dirty, disgusting ass feet with the world. When they walk they leave footprints on the ground from all the dirt on their feet. The smell they send off though is like rotten eggs, mixed with a baby diapers, mixed with dog shit, mixed with their own piss (literally), and the refuse of every thrash can in the city. Many years down the road you will be out of jail, but that smell will remain with you. Forever.
5. The off-duty prostitute
The only reason they are off-duty is because they were arrested, but that doesn’t mean they have turned off their charm, or what passes as charm in the prostitution world. They will talk to you, and everyone in their general vicinity, in hopes of making contact with potential future clients. They will also try to sweet talk some of the officers in hopes of getting a lighter sentence. It may work on a few officers, but most will turn them down.
6. The angry black wo/man
No matter how these inmates are treated, they will blame everything on the fact that they are black. They will walk around with a “Fuck you” look on their face and when talked to, they will say “Fuck you.” This may be the first stage of someone before they go in the holding cell because generally they will not get rid of this attitude. One of their favorite things they will say is that if they were white they wouldn’t have been arrested. Never mind the fact that they sold heroine to an undercover officer or stabbed someone with a knife. Because white people can get away with that.
7. The angry white wo/man
Not related to the angry black wo/man, they will not argue that they wouldn’t be arrested if they were some other race. Instead, they will argue that this is prison and they are white so they don’t belong in here. They are pretty much the most racist people in the jail when you think about it. Even the Neo-Nazi gangs do business with the black gangs every now and then, but these people think that just because they are white, they don’t belong in jail at all.
8. The high person
Some people will be arrested on drug charges and when they come into jail are still high. Depending on what drug they are on, they could be fun to watch or kind of scary. High on heroine? They look like they are off balance and always about to fall over, but surprisingly they don’t fall. They do fall asleep every now and then. High on cocaine? They are jumping around and ready to do anything. High on meth? Angry. Just pure anger.
9. The old timer
This person has been in and out of jail since before you were born, and they will keep coming into jail on a regular basis. They know all the officers by name and the jail might as well be a second home to them. For some, it is a first home since they are homeless as well. A cot is reserved specifically for them and the other inmates stop to ask how they are doing. They know the process and will generally cause no problems.