Rediscovering yourself after a breakup is a process. You aren’t used to dealing with yourself, especially without the constant affirmation of love and commitment you once had from your significant other. The secret to putting it past you is to live in the moment (and I don’t mean screaming “YOLO!” at the grungiest bar you can find.
Having someone turn from the center of your life to a complete stranger is a harsh reality. Depending on someone else to be your rock takes a lot of responsibility off yourself. Now you are faced with regaining your sense of self. You lost a sense of your consciousness and you need to make a sincere effort to get it back.
Some people are not ready to move on after a relationship. They cling to the memories, watch sappy movies, and pound rocky road ice cream. Taking the first step certainly isn’t going to get you past that initial grieving period, but the key is to take a little step each day. Stop stalking their Facebook, reach deep down and make a change.
The key to rediscovering your inner peace is to completely immerse your consciousness in whatever you are doing. Be completely present even in the most routine tasks of your day. The next time you wash the dishes, block everything out of your mind besides the goal of literally cleaning the dish. Feel the soap. Listen to the water. Be present. Its one minute of your entire day that you overlook all the time. You can train your consciousness and become more self-aware by surrendering to yourself.
Get in your car and focus on driving. Quit worrying how late you are going to be and maintain a peaceful state of mind. When you get to a stop sign at the same time as an opposing car, let them go. Give them a little wave and see how good it feels when they acknowledge your tiny gesture. A small amount of patience just got inserted into your consciousness while sacrificing “the principle” of getting to the stop sign two tenths of a second earlier. Slow down and embrace the small victories.
I am a firm believer that you should never invest yourself in a relationship with someone who does not value you. You should never have to convince someone to love and support you. It’s natural to feel self-doubt and fear your life will not be the same. And the truth is, it’s not. You are a different person than when you entered the relationship. People change.
You aren’t going to wake up tomorrow and just be over it. Be honest with yourself and make a proactive change to your lifestyle. When you are at work, work. When you are with friends, concentrate on what they are saying, not what you are going to say next. When you listen to a love song on the radio, I promise they didn’t write it about you. As you become more connected to yourself in the moment, you will begin to realize that none of these single moments define you.
Eventually, your brain will be conditioned to be present. The past is done; it does not influence your current consciousness unless you allow it to. Take pride in knowing who you are and how valuable you really are. Focus on every step you take, it’s leading you in the right direction: forward.