Hey there! Want to know something about me? I love a good party. I’m very cool and popular and I party a lot. This is true. People text me all the time saying, “Zach, you’re so cool and popular, we’re inviting you to a party just like we always do because of those previously stated facts. This is a real text message.” I, like all cool people, still try and keep it safe, responsible, and legal when I’m partying (or, as I like to say, “getting’ jiggy wit it”). Chingy doesn’t seem to share my commitment to good behavior, though. I think we should talk about “Holidae In” for a minute (yes, that’s how it’s spelled).
Holiday Inn is a fine chain of hotels. As such, they have certainly policies to keep their hotels a fun and accommodating environment for all members of your family and/or place of employment. It’s also a good place to take a lady you aren’t really supposed to be seen with. Not that I’d know. Anyway, one of those policies is a maximum per-room capacity. It usually limits the number of occupants in a room to 4-6 people. It varies, but we can agree that it’s less than 21.
The premise of Chingy’s “Holidae In” is simple: having a party at a Holiday Inn. Now, there are plenty of ways to have fun at a Holiday Inn (maybe visit the pool or enjoy a lovely continental breakfast), but Chingy wants to drink with a lot of people. Ugh, fine. How many people are we talking?
Well, in the chorus, Chingy is asked, “Who you wit?” He responds that it’s just “me & my peeps.” Based on the song, this is Chingy, Ludacris, and Snoop Dogg/Lion/whatever the hell he wants to be called. Fun! Let’s use a handy chart to demonstrate room capacity:
Again, in the chorus, Chingy tells the lovely lady on the phone with to “bring four of (her) friends.” This is already stretching acceptable room capacity. C’mon, Mr. Ching.
At the beginning of verse one, Chingy says “peeps” called him up. Now, this might be slang for a group of people, but I think Chingy would respect the rules, so let’s say it’s one fella who’s nicknamed “Peeps.” Peeps does inform Chingy that there are already “8 shawties” in the room, though. This is flat out unacceptable. I’m surprised a manager hadn’t already intervened.
On the way to the room, Chingy encounters three more ladies on the elevator, whom he invites. As if there weren’t enough there already. Gosh. Chingy also references “Ol’ G,” who was instructed to bring the camera and film Chingy “ramming” one of those poor young ladies in the bathroom. I don’t think Snoop or Luda would do this, and it’s not Peeps, so I’m counting it as a different person.
That’s 21. Might they have had more than one room? Well, Chingy was specifically instructed to go to room 409, so I doubt it. It’s also worth noting that room 409 is most likely on the fourth floor, too high up to be one of the larger handicapped rooms, and presumably too low to be a suite of any variety. Even if it was a suite, Holiday Inn Presidential Suites are usually outfitted with a king bed, pull out sofa, and jaccuzzi bathtub nook. Good luck having 21 people party in a room that comfortably sleeps 4.
This party can only end in uncomfortable sweatiness and trouble. C’mon, Chingy, let’s all play chess in the park instead. Ladies love chess.
(Special thanks to HBo for copying Chingy into those images a bunch of times for me.)