It’s a classic situation. You and your friends are having a nice little slumber party and are stalking love interests on Facebook. The friend who’s hosting the gathering then leaves the room but makes one crucial mistake.
They forgot to logout out of Facebook.
I’ve been on the opposite end of these cyber attacks, as my friends have been known to hijack my status and write vulgar phrases. (And inevitably my aunts and uncles would contact me and ask why I wrote such a thing. Hey guys, use context clues, it wasn’t me).
Basically we need to get revenge on our friends who have messed with our social media accounts in the past. But we need to do it discreetly.
Or we could just go outside.
1. ‘Like’ A Random Person From High School’s Picture From 2008
The key to a good social media trick is to embarrass your friend without them realizing it. So while Frederick’s in the bathroom (you told him not to eat that third burrito), think of the most random person from back in the day, scroll left three or four profile pictures, and give that baby a ‘like.’
The random person (let’s call her Sheila) will get a notification of your friend’s socially unacceptable like. But barring an equally socially unacceptable message from Sheila, your buddy will never know.
And don’t feel bad; we all knew Frederick had it coming.
2. Change Their Birth Year
The classic prank! Change their birth year from 1988 to 1908 and you’ve got a 107-year-old Facebook friend on your hands. Ask if they knew Teddy Roosevelt back in the day and if his quote “Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick” was really about foreign policy. Cause you know, it kind of sounds like it’s about…
3. Unfriend Their Best Friend
Okay, you got me, they would notice this immediately when that “Add Friend” button pops up next to their best friend’s name.
By the way, is unfriending someone the biggest power move on the planet? Even if I haven’t spoke to you since the day I created my Facebook account, if I see that “Add Friend” button next to your name, I’m offended. Kinda wondering where it all went wrong.
4. Comment On Social Issues
Everybody loves old Uncle Joe, the die hard political commentator who doesn’t have a job with CNN so he just settles for good ole Facebook debates.
Just kidding, no one likes him, but when he starts up a little conversation on the economy comment with something random that you know will set him off. Maybe go with ‘George W. Bush was the greatest president of all-time,’ then sit back and enjoy the show.
5. Untag A Photo Where They Look Awesome
Take it from someone who photographs well one every 11 pictures. I can’t afford to lose one of my only portfolio shots.
So I will notice when I’m stalking myself (we all do it, be honest), that that picture of me in my nifty green button down is gone. And, dammit, is it a desperate move to re-tag yourself. You may as well just pack it up and become a man/woman of the Night’s Watch at that point.