Trying Is For Losers

In reality, the person who tries to win the lottery is an idiot and the person who never tries is smart.

An Open Letter To All Hibachi Chefs

I swear if you use your spatula to make another pile of rice shaped into a heart look like it’s beating I’m going to take a dump on the grill.

Judgment Free Zone? No, Thanks

The only one who can judge people is the Lord himself. Unfortunately, the Lord is often MIA when there’s prime judging to be done.

The Trials And Tribulations Of A Facebook Private Eye

The only description I have is his first name and a few facts. He’s relatively tall, he has dark features, and he likes to play basketball. She also said he’s most likely in a fraternity. Helen Keller could have given me more information.