“Avoiding overthinking and jumping to conclusions could be the key to overcoming your relationship anxiety”
I can tell you for sure that being in a relationship can make us feel vulnerable and emotionally exposed. I had always been prone to stress and doubt and it still manifests when I’m not mindful of it.
This isn’t a strange phenomenon for people who have been hurt in the past or have had love addiction or anxiety issues in the past. Relationship anxiety can be very hard to deal with when let to build up to a certain level. In a generally healthy relationship, you’ll want to learn how to deal with relationship anxiety if you’re prone to it.
1. Review and note potential causes.
Relationships are like the wave concept in physics; they have peaks and troughs. It’s normal to have issues in a healthy relationship from time to time, and you should aim to resolve these hiccups in a respectful and gentle manner.
The problems you might be dealing with might be related to money, jealousy, doubt, and fear of abandonment. When there’s a loss of trust, a feeling of walking on eggshells, long-term stress, or excessive negativity, your relationship can feel challenging, leading to anxiety. If potential causes like these exist and compound your anxiety, you might want to seek professional help to navigate your way out of it.
2. This is hard but avoid jumping to conclusions.
You have to be mature enough to admit that the problem could be imaginary and due to your own over-thinking. Be realistic about what you can really sense in your partner. Don’t be quick to assume the worst. If you have doubts, be proactive and communicate with your partner.
When your partner talks about their feelings, be receptive and open to what they’re saying. Avoid jumping to conclusions about what they’re trying to communicate to you. Don’t imagine you understand everything about your partner’s gender and categorize their expressions or emotions in a box of your gender or personality assumptions. Do not assume any negative feelings are because of you.
3. Accept there are no perfect relationships.
Every relationship has its issues and you won’t always be in the same mindset or emotional state as your partner. It took me a while to actually accept this. I always expected my partners to give me at least 80% of themselves daily. I started having doubts whenever they couldn’t give me what I thought I wanted.
In a bid to not appear demanding, I would compel myself to give at least 80% of myself every day too, even when I knew I didn’t just have that energy level. I was on constant emotional burnout and it compounded my anxiety.
I didn’t let my partners go through their phases of life because I didn’t know if I could even be there for them. Letting yourself be natural and transparent about when you can’t give your maximum level of emotional energy helps you see the humanness of your partner too. Their decision to still stick with you and stay really sweet to you even on their low days is where the love is.
4. Recognize that relationships are different.
Having problematic relationships in the past make you distrustful of your current partner, but it’s important to realize that every relationship is different. Avoid bringing feelings from your past relationship into a current one. Recognize that your partner is a different person, with different motivations, fears and attributes. Let a past relationship go so its shadow doesn’t hang over a current one.
5. Affirm the positives.
We can sometimes focus too much on the negatives and forget the qualities we love in our partners. Instead of dwelling on negatives, take regular time-outs to celebrate the good things in your relationship. Focus on what you love about your partner and the things he or she does for you. Concentrating on the positives can make you feel more secure and allow you to fully feel the love your partner has for you.
6. Seek security in yourself.
I worked hard to rebuild my self-confidence which I realized was a powerful way to counter anxiety in a relationship. You don’t have to give your partner all the responsibility for your happiness, take some of it back and become more self-assured. This can lighten the pressure on your partner and reduce relationship tension.
7. Connect with your partner.
I learned from experience that you sometimes actually have to ask your partner to make an effort to connect and communicate with you. We’re all very different people and we may not really know one another’s commitment style. I’ve learned that you actually have to ask for a lot of things in a healthy relationship.
Asking does not mean that your relationship is falling apart, it just means that you and your partner are different individuals looking to share genuine intimacy and bond. If you’re encountering challenges in your relationship, one strategy to take is to start over anew. Clear old out emotions and perceptions and start dating as if you have just met. From here you could rebuild and rediscover the trust you had.
Connecting with your partner can also mean exchanging needs. Sit down and have a discussion about what each partner needs from the relationship. Work from your lists to do the best you can to satisfy each other’s needs.
Physical affection is also important for re-engaging with your partner. Touching, holding, and otherwise showing physical affection could help you recreate your connection and strengthen your trust to reduce anxiety.
Other ways to minimize anxiety are practicing mindfulness and targeting anxiety with stress busters (meditation, exercise, subtle social activities, long walks, and living in the present).